Transforming Workplace Dynamics with Debbie Longo | Life Made Easier Podcast

Hello and welcome to another edition of life

made easier podcast. My name is Leslie Pesach.

It is such a pleasure to have you here today.

Today I have a special guest. Her name is Debbie

Longo and Debbie, would you like to just take

a few moments? Tell your story briefly before

we get started. My name is Debbie Longo. I'm

an executive behavioral coach and I have about

25 years experience in this business. I started

off as a life coach originally, and I had a spiritual

teacher, mentor, and she passed away in 2021.

So I decided to continue her work and my work,

basically combine it. Then COVID came, which

was part of the reason why I started an executive

coaching business, because A lot of companies

went bankrupt and there was a lot of problems.

Companies were losing money and they all said,

oh, it's because of COVID, it's because of a

recession. And the way that I teach it is doesn't

matter what it is, outside forces don't matter.

Even if there's a recession or anything, I will

still be successful in my business, regardless

of what happens. So then I said, I need to help

these people. And then she passed away shortly

after that. She was a spiritual teacher and mentor,

but she did things completely different than

me, that I do it a little bit her way, but I

have my take on it. She just did everything that

the way that I do it just done in a completely

different way, because she just did it the way

that she her vibe. And now i do it a different

way but it's basically the same it's not really

that much of a difference. So how does this spirituality

really to your background. Well like i said she

was a spiritual teacher mentor she was also a

spiritual advisor so she had a lot of spirituality

in her background and that was how i started

off with the coaching business now i have a lot

of back and work that i do. So when there's a

client that comes to me or a potential client,

a prospect, and they want to have a consultation

or a workshop or something, then I get the information

from them and we make a plan, we make an outline,

and then they say if they like it, then I make

it a little bit more detailed. But this information

comes from a higher source. This information

does not come from me. I am not trying to control

the person. I'm not trying to control anybody.

I simply have a way of coaching where I can help

business owners and executives increase sales

and profits in a way that most likely they don't

know. And even if they're familiar with it, because

what I do is completely different. than what

most coaches do because I know a lot of coaches

and you could go online and you could just look

up coaching and you'll see what they do. All

their websites will come up. I do it a completely

different way. I use higher forces and I get

the information. It's channeled through me and

then I give them the information. So I'm merely

giving them an idea, something that can work.

that I know will work, but that depends on whether

they want to receive it or not. And if they don't,

it's fine. If they do, it's fine. That's completely

up to them. And all of that is free. I don't

charge for that until they say I really want

to do it. Now, if they have the information,

they can maybe do something with that information.

They could take a sentence out of there, right?

And they could, like, look it up on the Internet

or something. and get an answer. But the idea

is to do the whole plan altogether, because like

A equals B and then you go C, D, E. So it has

to be done in a certain order. So if I just pick

out D and I didn't do A, B and C, then I'm just

going to do the instructions that D says and

that will work for a time. But that's not the

way that it's really designed to do. As we go

through the process. I have all different ways

that I have gifts, God -given gifts that I've

had that my spiritual teacher allows me to, showed

me how to open my mind with these different gifts

that I have. And I use that to help people in

all different ways. And that was really the reason

why I started the coaching business. I know that

COVID was a really hard time for everyone. There

were a lot of losses and there's a lot of...

uneasy emotional feelings, you know, that left

still lingering and with everything coming up

and everything else. And sometimes we just kind

of I mean, personally, I just sometimes we just

think, you know, how do we keep a positive perspective

with all the things that go on when we think

this is reality? But COVID was this reality for

the world and it was real and it was true. And

now as we're following these people that are

guiding us. China's what you do like falchion

and so on in our government and such and now

with all the stuff coming out for me it's like

who do you believe and how do you get through

this and Personally, I've been there before and

personally I have to look at my spirituality

I truly look within myself For the answers because

when I look outside what seems like truth isn't

always the truth in the long run So what are

some of the ways that people can become more

positive? in your perspective and therefore increase,

you know, be more positive at work, be more positive

in their life so that they can be more productive,

feel more happiness and, you know, really have

a positive impact in the working environments.

There's a lot of ways and this is a big thing

that I teach. So this is an overall thing. An

overall goal is to be positive, is to get rid

of negativity. And i've done a bunch of podcast

i've done about six or seven of them where i

was a guest because i also have podcast where

i also host and the ones that i host the behavioral

profit and the six figure shift show i have my

guest appearances also on those podcasts so you

just hear me talk more so there's all different

ways to do it like i did one on respect i did

one on making goals. We did one on Big Ego. There's

all specific ways that we can become positive.

But here's the thing. I want to be able to understand

and know. We call it a creating and knowing,

right? Where I want to know that there is something

negative happening. There's a lot of problems,

issues in my workplace. Which when i learned

this this will now carry over to my home so something

is going on and. My employees are trying to control

the workplace i'm not in control anymore. The

boss or the executive might be at a place where

the employees are not following their job duties

they're just doing whatever they want the executive

is gonna come to a point. where they're gonna

say something is going on and i gotta stop it

and that's where you have a snowball of negativity

so when i make a snowball it starts really small

and then as i'm rolling more snow the snowball

gets bigger and bigger and bigger and if you

don't control it and you don't see it in the

beginning then it's just gonna get become such

a problem that It's not going to be impossible

to fix, but it's going to be a lot more than

if the business owner saw it in the very beginning.

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. And

that's up to the business owner because that's

just the process. That's their own process. But

we don't want to wait until it gets to the point

where the company went bankrupt, the company

filed bankruptcy. And now they have to pay this

money back. Not bankruptcy where they went out

of business bankruptcy where they're still in

business. Because the next step is they're gonna

go out of business so we don't wanna get to that

point so this is why we wanna see the warning

signs before anything happens and this is why

the reason why these podcasts because now we're

gonna talk about. all these different things

that happen that create all this negativity and

all these different podcasts that i have and

that's how you get that snowballs gonna grow

bigger and bigger and bigger and you don't want

to get to that point believe me cuz it's not

gonna be a good scenario. In my personal life

over the years and fifty eight nine i've worked

for a few different companies and honestly the

way that the interaction between the employees

within themselves sometimes. in most cases, I

think is truly what causes a lot of attention

in companies. And I think that there needs to

be a diverse culture, but there also needs to

be a culture of unity, a culture of acceptance,

a culture of understanding why our differences

make us who we are. And when we can be ourselves,

then it will contribute to other people in many

different ways. It will contribute to agreeing

with with something about that person that we

admire that we want to replicate that or it could

be something about that person that we don't

want and that we learn what truly is us like

if there's certain times and employees come in

late or or they there's certain employees to

show up early I mean those are two different

things it's like some people look at and say

oh you know why they show up early they're dedicated

they're responsible and in the timing of getting

to work but then and then there's other people

might think oh god why do they always come in

early that's kind of a waste of time so i think

it's really. Not by judging from your environments

it's more so observing in those environments

decide what you want and what you know to make

a part of you what you don't want to make part

of you. And I think that this carries in to many

different aspects of our lives, not only just

at work, but I think it also carries into your

personal lives. I mean, I don't think you can

find one thing if you're not happy in your work

environment and you're not going to be happy

in any other environment in your life. These

tendencies or these parts of us in each aspect

of our lives pull apart within us. Do you agree

with that? Yes, agreed. So what kind of effects

can like our moods have with with our emotions

and our overall balance? What are some of those

that you see? These are all the different aspects

of being of negativity. Let's say for emotions,

for example, if I'm dominant, which a lot of

bosses would be because they need to give orders

or enforce the job duties, but It comes to a

point where it becomes too much and their ego

gets bigger and bigger. Well, what happens then

when they become dominant and they give orders

to the point where they're just barking and they

think that their employees are robots and they

don't treat them like human beings, then they

become more sensitive. So if they were not dominant

to an extreme extent, then they would be less

sensitive. I know it sounds strange. No, because

I've watched a really interesting interview with

Elon Musk and he slept under his desk for I think

it was three months and he even pitched a tent

on the roof of his building and to show his employees.

That he's right with them, you know, he's right

next to them. He's he's building with them. He's

contributing. He understands he doesn't expect

anybody to put in any more than he does himself.

So they're all really dedicated people because

they see how dedicated he is. And this guy owns

like six or seven different companies, right?

I'm not sure if it was his SpaceX business or

his Tesla business. but he just is so dedicated

to stuff and he doesn't bark bark at people but

i do know what you're saying there are some people

that take that role and really abuse it and it

happens i notice it mostly when i worked in the

theater but i think that sometimes maybe we can

take our roles or whatever's going on within

us emotionally and really put that out onto other

people and out into the world i think really

Having that inner balance is so important to

within us all the time so that it doesn't affect

all of these different aspects within our life

one of the questions i have that what do you

think about how do you manage your mindset when

when both like. If you have home demands and

work demands and certain things from one or the

other areas in your life they have to have like

emotional and i'm talking about those times and

they're like emotional draining. when you just

feel like you're going to lose it. So how do

you manage your emotional stability? That's a

good question, because the thing is, I teach

this stuff. So I want to be able to practice

what I preach, what I teach. I'm going to learn

it, practice it, and then I'm able to teach it.

So if I want to take an algebra cross and I go

into the first day. That teacher knows algebra

that teacher knows that textbook from beginning

to end inside out they know all the words they

know what everything means they know how to write

test they know everything and if they didn't.

Then they wouldn't be qualified they wouldn't

be a good enough teacher. Where they could teach

me everything at the end of the class and then

i would know it all. Would be able to pass it

all so that's the thing so first I want to be

able to learn it and I have to Preach it every

day. I have to practice it every day in order

for me to really teach it Well, so it's a daily

practice where I'm doing it maybe multiple times

a day Because I'm constantly becoming positive

because it's a negative world. Everybody around

me is negative or most people are so i'm feeding

their negativity because we're all like sponges

from energy so that's an issue so now i know

i have to know how to get rid of that negativity

so i can stay positive so i can be able to help

people because i'm not gonna help somebody and

say oh yeah yeah we could do it you could make

your goals and then i hang up the phone and i

say no they're not gonna make it that's not gonna

work. I have to say it, they're gonna do it all

day long, every day. I have to really put it

in my brain. I can't take it out of my brain.

When I help people, when I do that, I'm not only

practicing what I should be practicing, what

I normally do, now I'm practicing it more, because

now there's somebody else involved. When that

happens, I not only grow spiritually, but I'm

helping somebody else. And that person is growing

spiritually also, just by doing things. I'm not

talking about praying and meditating and being

a Buddha or whatever. If you want to do that,

that's fine. But that's not what I'm talking

about. I'm talking about doing things out of

your comfort zone. If you're negative, don't

stay in it. Do something out of your comfort

zone. Get out of that negativity. That's not

what somebody wants to do. Once I start doing

that in my daily life, I'm talking about basic

things. When I do these things, I am growing

spiritually. And that's what I want to keep doing.

And that's how I was just talking about this

in my other podcast before. That's how the world

evolves and the people evolve and the animals.

They all do it. And the mammals, they all do

it. They just do it in different ways, obviously.

And this is what we want. First of all, you can't

be stagnant. It's impossible when they go backwards.

You have a lot of friction. You have a lot of

problems. Watch the news. That's your example.

I don't watch the news on TV, the regular news,

because I think that it's for one, it's not healthy

because I don't think any of it is true. I think

it's all the more and more I go to the source

of my information more and more. I'm learning

that what's put on our basic television for the

news is very skewed and it's very upsetting.

And when I, I learned this about, no, I'd say

it was probably about five or six years ago.

And I got really upset when I was watching somebody

on the news report something that I was watching

happen and they weren't the same thing. They're

telling me that this person did this but I'm

watching it and they took a little teeny piece

of it and spun it in such a negative way and

I swear it was that day that I turned off my

TV, stuck it behind my sofa, I pushed my wall

unit out of my family room, which is the room

I'm sitting in, and I put my desk here and I

made it my office and I said, no more TV. If

I watch TV or if I want to know anything that's

going on, I just ask what I need to be informed

about and I make that you know it just comes

to me I just have to ask it comes to me but when

I was watching that news on the television it

gave me such anxiety because I was thinking that

it was truly real and it's not it's not real

what we see on regular TV is just like sitcoms

it's all acting and it goes right into the news.

into the news that we received. So I think I

think that going to the source is a much better.

It's a much better approach than it is to utilize

what other people want to share as their opinion.

Right. I think that the news is like somebody

else's opinion. It's like a third party. And

if you tell somebody something, they're going

to tell somebody, they're going to tell somebody

it's like gossip. Right. It changes. The story

changes. Every year that hears it in every mouth

that speaks it. So I have an issue with that

Anyway, we can go on because I could go on forever

about the news and politics and such when it

comes right down to it for me I just look inside

of myself and I'm watching something and I say

Leslie is that true or is it not true and Sometimes

the things are true But how do I want to utilize

that information to better myself instead of

making me bitter? How can I make it so that I

live from the? core values of who I am and I

take it and I say, okay, Leslie, this is true,

but how do I want that to, how do I want to pull

something from it that's going to add value to

myself and into my life? Just like any other

situation that I'm faced with, whether it's something

I watch, somebody I'm interacting with, whether

it's at work, whether it's at home. Thank God

I'm single and I live by myself and only the

right man's going to come to me. And it will

share the same values because i think that you

know we can all be different but if we share

the same values that makes all the difference

in the world you don't have to be the same we

don't have to follow these trends we don't have

to do all think alike and ideally i think that

that those differences in our everyday life and

within ourselves makes makes that variety possible

right we all need variety we only contrast. But

in order to hold people in your life that are

important, the only thing I think is important

too is common values. I think that the workplace,

I don't know, if you're working for somebody

that doesn't see your value, that doesn't give

you an opportunity, that's more dictator, some

people needs really solid direction and that

commanding role model or team leader. And then

I think others are more of a, I guess it depends

on the position that you choose. What do you

think of that? Yes, I agree. One of the other

questions that I have, do you lead a team? Is

this where all of your information came from?

Do you speak with your team? If you do with,

and how do you speak to them? What type of, of

methods of communication do you use to give clarity

and make sure that people understand that you

care about them and that you want to, that this

job is to work together and to really come together.

the better, not only to get the job done, but

also to better themselves and the whole workplace.

Because our jobs here on earth are to grow and

expand in everything that we do. And if we're

in a situation where we're not growing and expanding

within ourselves, in our environments, then how

do you address that? If I'm an executive or a

business owner, and even for myself, because

I'm a business owner, but let's say I have a

really big company, one of the big things is

I wanna treat my employees and everybody that's

under me or even my peers like human beings human

beings have feelings they have ups and downs

they have emotions issues all kinds of things

and if i can't find a way to connect with people

that i work with people that i see every day.

40 hours a week or sometimes more then I start

to treat them like Not with feeling I start to

treat them like robots I start to treat them

like they're there to do a job and they're gonna

get it done and they come and they go why do

you think the employer would take on that type

of an attitude because one of the reasons is

that If the company is making its goals every

year, and then let's say it's doing really good,

all they care about is making more money. And

if they care, if they put any effort into caring

or doing things to go out of their way, so they

can make their employees happy, then they're

not focused on money. And that is called greed

and power. So as the company grows and i get

more greedy and more powerful i care about my

employees less now not everybody does this. And

if you're a business owner and you don't do this

then that's fine but we're trying to help. The

people who do do this so if you're watching this

podcast you can't relate and you say well i'm

a business owner my business is doing good and

i treat my employees right and everything that's

fine. But if you don't and think about it if

you're making a lot of money, how are you treating

your employees? Now there are all kinds of things

that Resources that companies have today. They

have counselors They have a number that you can

call and they have somebody that you could talk

to They have all different kinds of resources

in human resources They have people in the company

that are advocates that can advocate for you

there are all different managers that have all

different job duties so some of the job duties

have to do with helping people. And some have

to do with growing the company. Because i know

that i was at zero. And I got to a million because

I have employees. So now I want my employees

to work harder for me and then I will make money.

And that's not how it works. I own my own company

and I owned my own company. I owned a child care

center for 20 years, a child education center.

And now I'm starting this this business. You

know, my living from the inside out while having

employees. I mean, my company, my reason. My

purpose isn't for my business is number one to

help people with their personal growth and showing

them how it leads to their spiritual development.

When we become the best versions of ourselves,

we are able to have this divine experience if

we choose. That's what we want, right? And I've

explained to everybody there's two paths that

are coming before us. You can choose which one

you're going to be on. Are you going to be on

the stagnant path or are you going to be on path

of growth that personal growth development and

really understand why your soul's here. This

is my purpose. However, one of the essential

key elements of it is to earning an income, right?

If I earn money with my business, I can pay my

employees. And I think that, yes, we all fall

into certain areas in our life where things aren't

going well for us or we have these challenges

and sometimes there are certain companies that

offer certain things is it truly the company's

responsibility to provide for the employees therapy

and all this other stuff to get their lives in

order when really it's up to them. They're there

to do a job, perform for this company, to provide

their gifts and service to the company, but our

personal who we are and how we come about, I

don't think it's fair, not just for the employer,

yes, but I don't think it's fair. We're not being

fair to ourselves to put that responsibility

onto another person because I think that we ourselves

lose our sense of self. We lose our sense of

control. We lose our sense of Knowing that for

me, all the answers are inside of me. All the

answers are inside of everybody. But if we put

it up to an employer and an employer came up

to me and said, Oh, let's say I see you struggling

here. You need to see therapy. I would be very

offended, but I can see where if I were really

struggling internally, I just can't figure stuff

out. And I went to an HR and I said, you know,

I'm really struggling. Do you have therapy? Is

there a recommendation or something? Is that

really something you want to bring to your workplace?

I mean, because sometimes when you bring that

into the workplace, you share too much. Isn't

that something that we should probably handle

on our own personally? I think it depends on

where their unhappiness comes from. Where did

their issues come from? Do they come from the

home and they're bringing it into the workplace?

Or is the problem the workplace? begins and ends

within ourselves. It doesn't matter what the

heck's going on outside of you, whether it's

at home, work, community, whatever it is. Whatever's

going on outside of you is an opportunity to

me to learn. It's how that's affecting the inside

of me. But what are these feelings inside of

me? This is a feeling of frustration, pain, anger,

sorrow. These are feelings I need to look at.

This is how I do it. I look at these things.

I think let's say when you feel this, whatever

the situation is outside of you, run and run

as fast as you can. That's what it tells me.

But if I see something that's it's funny or that's

entertaining or that I learned from that makes

me feel good, I'm going to bring that into my

life like Hallmark movies. When you see I can

sit and watch a Hallmark movie and when I'm really

sad and it lifts me up, it makes me feel better.

And we all use our different little methods.

Or I can go for a walk, or I can go into the

mountains, or I can take my shoes off and I can

walk in my grass. Because repeat positive affirmations

in my mind to make me feel better. But I have

a really, really hard time in my life allowing

something on the outside of me to dictate what

I want happening on the inside of me. Because

for 40 my first 40 years I let that happen. Maybe

and that's why I freaking melted down and that's

when God hit the reset button on my life and

said Leslie now it's time to to live about you

for you and because of you and this is where

my theory came from. My life is about me forming

because of me and I'm the one that needs to be

responsible for I'm the one that is living it

and whatever's happening outside of me is an

opportunity for me to choose. what I want to

go on on the inside of me. So with that said,

I can, I just had to go off on my little tangent

because that is something that has been really,

really significant in my life. One of the things

I'm kind of curious now is under these kinds

of circumstances, would you be more likely to

avoid the conflict if this was the case in your

home or your work environment where inside you're

just feeling you're observing You're feeling

you want to know what just to understand what

that is doing to hear. Are you you avoid those

conflicts or and what's the cost of the way to

address them or to avoid them? Well, let's think

about it because I want to get out of my comfort

zone is avoiding the conflict, getting out of

my comfort zone. Probably not. It's probably

staying in my comfort zone is. admitting my conflict

and trying to do something about it? Is that

getting out of my comfort zone? Yeah, most likely,

unless I know that I really want it. But that's

really what I want to do. Because if I try to

fix the problem or I try to do something about

my anger or sadness or issue or whatever it is,

now something's going to happen. And I don't

know what's going to happen, but I don't want

it to get to a situation where it gets worse

and worse. And I keep making excuses over and

over again as to I don't have that issue. I don't

feel this way where I'm literally lying to myself

all the time. And I think things are going to

be different every time denial. of reality is

never going to help anyone. That's for sure.

You know, if we think about this, we can either

address it or we can either avoid it. Those are

two options. It's like there are some situations

where I've addressed it. Why are you doing this

or this is this or this is that with that person?

I think there's times to address it with the

individual or the individuals. And then I think

there's times to address it within ourselves.

math depends on a lot of things that depends

on the situation if the person wants to Accept

it or not if they're willing and ready to change

it to do something about it so to me that could

be like step two or three and Then the first

thing that they want to do is really Identify

it. Is there really something wrong? because

if they tell themselves it's not, then it's not

gonna be. Everybody could tell them that they

need help or there's an issue they need to address

or whatever, but if they don't think there's

nothing there, then there's nothing anybody's

gonna be able to do about it. And that's not

a good thing when we try to force ourselves on

somebody, where we want somebody to be a certain

way, and that will never ever work. It never

did, it never will. I think that there are times,

especially in workplaces, Let's take the workplace,

for example, maybe somebody feels jealous of

somebody or somebody keeps putting somebody down

because they feel that they're better than them

or somebody's new at the job or doesn't have

certain experiences or whatever. They're just

really hammering this person for whatever reason,

because that's happened to me before. And sometimes

when we really try to go forward and look at

this person and address it and say, this is what

I think and this is how I feel. And this puts

us in a really vulnerable situation. And many,

many times in those types of situations is due

to that other person being jealous, that other

person feeling their own insecurities. And this

is how they're within themselves trying to build

themselves up. And it's not just with us, it's

a repetitive pattern within their whole relationships.

They are constantly putting people down because

they don't feel good about themselves. But if

we go to a person like that and try to resolve

it, they're going to end up hammering us more.

They've ended up hammering me more. So in these

types of situations, I've always just looked

at and thought, Leslie, what can you learn from

this? What can you learn from this? So you're

going to have to. I've had to find empathy where

I didn't want to. I've had to find compassion

where I didn't want to. I've had to really look.

at the situation not from inside of me to say

why is this person do the things they do if i

were that person and i were being loud that way

this is what i would be feeling or it feels like

or you can just even ask your internal self those

are the times you have to ask your internal self

i think a lot of kids especially with the ones

that are being violent in these school shootings

and everything else these kids have been just

hammered in their life they're tired nobody's

listening to them Same with people, nobody's

listening to them, nobody's paying attention,

and they don't know how to work internally with

that essential inner self to learn from these

things, to learn that whatever this person's

projecting onto you, it has nothing to do with

you and everything to do with them. So how do

they, do you teach people how to look within

for those types of answers? Because this happens

more often then any other situation i can send

me does something to piss you off i mean you

just got that person say hey you know it's really

this is really crap this is really wrong and

don't do it again when they're blatantly just

doing it. Can i think of these you know if others

in the workplace i think it also happens in the

whole life but you can bring that if it's happening

in the workplace you can bring that stuff into

your home life. You get defensive in your home

life right if you have any demands at work if

you're having. stress at work and conflicts with

people at work that are causing these emotions

inside of you and when you go home. And you have

the same anger frustration feelings when your

kid didn't do their homework or they didn't do

their chore you're gonna blow up at your kids

way more more intense rate than if you would

understand that those emotions aren't all because

of that it's a building up. These emotions within

yourself do you see that within the people you

work with? So let's think about it. Let's say

I work a 40 -hour workweek Even if I work at

home, it doesn't matter where I'm working because

if I work at home, I'm still working I'm not

paying attention to my family. So if I work a

40 -hour workweek Let's just say for example

nine to five eight to four I am with the people

that I work with for 40 hours a week. Now, how

long am I with my family? Maybe I come home from

work. Let's say I have a child. That child has

to be in bed an hour after I come home from work

or two hours after. So I have two hours with

that child every day and I have the weekends,

two days a week. So am I more apt to take on

behaviors from the workplace or the people in

my social life. Family, friends, neighbors. Now,

most of the time, I'm just using that they spend

more time together. I'm just using that one example.

There's a lot of other ways of looking at it.

But if somebody influences another person, which

to me is like a normal behavior, right? One person

sees somebody doing something, another person

likes it, they might copy, they might think it's

a good idea, they might ask them how they did

it. So they're being influenced in some way,

which to me is a normal behavior. With that one

example, if you're with somebody more hours than,

if you're at your job more hours than you're

with your family, Most likely your job is you're

gonna be influenced by your workers more than

you are by your family and nine times out of

ten that behavior that you do at the workplace

that you perform the way you act the negativity

all this stuff that's gonna go home with you

if you don't know how to not take it home because

there's a way that you could turn off everybody

has switches and We have a switch on off. That's

if you know how to use it. There is a way that

you could turn off what you did at work, release

it, turn it off, and then go home. And now you're

influencing your family in a positive way rather

than taking your work home. Because all of that

now, they're all going to absorb that. Your children.

your spouse, whoever is living at your house,

they're now going to absorb all of that stuff.

The negativity, the fear, the denial, the ego,

whatever you're learning at work. A lot of times,

I spend more time with the people at work than

I do with my family. And that could be a good

thing or not. That depends on you. It depends

on whether you like your job or not. When you

spend more time with somebody, there's a good

chance that you're really going to be influenced

by that person. And also, people who are an employee,

if they just start, let's say, with a company,

they might be looking for a mentor or they might

be looking for somebody to look up to. Let's

say they just started in a certain industry and

they want to advance in that industry. Now, if

they want their boss to be a mentor, then how

their boss is going to respond, they're most

likely going to copy that, especially if they

don't know the industry or if they just started

in the workplace. So these are all very important

things to really understand, because I do this

and I don't know that this is happening. I know

that some employers will assign certain people

to new employees that for them to guide and for

them to to learn from. Think it's interesting

because most often you have to let that person

kind of pick you put him in You give them some

time to really get comfortable and ask them We're

gonna pair you with somebody to mentor you But

we're gonna give you a month or so to get comfortable

with people around you and then when you get

together For whatever review your 30 -day review

or whatever and say now we'd like you to pick

a mentor Who do you think you can learn the most

from? and let them choose their mentor instead

of having somebody assigned to them. I think

it's important to have somebody assigned to show

them how to do their job if it's somebody that

they're taking their position or whatever. But

I think it's important for perhaps maybe employers

to be able to just let those employees get comfortable

and then make that choice. Who do you feel you

can learn the most from? One of the things that

you were talking about is when we And it hit

me really hard that when we really think about

it, if we work nine to five or eight to four,

let's say eight to four, if you're working until

let's say four or five and your commute home

is usually an hour. So you're home at five. You

have to start dinner, women or men, whoever.

There's dinner to be made. There's homework to

be done. There's baths for little kids. And sometimes

that hour is maybe in two hours or an hour and

a half because you have to pick your kids up

from daycare. So if we're leaving market five,

let's say we leave worker four, we pick up the

kids from daycare at five. If you have to stop

at the store or anything, you're in trouble.

Let's say you get home at 545, you start dinner,

you're eating at 630. You're sitting at the table

at 630. Say most people by then, these kids are

screaming hungry because I've been there. And

dinner's over at seven. You do the dishes until

eight. You clean up. It takes about an hour to

clean up after dinner, most of the time, 45 minutes,

whatever it takes. Say half an hour because you

have somebody to help you. You got to get kids

in the bathtub. You got, there's just no time.

Where's the quality time with your family? And

this takes me back to where I think is incredibly

important. For there to be, our society takes

two parents working full time. I praise. And

i'm grateful i worked from home i was a single

parent and i worked from home so that made it

that was really good because my kids did never

come home to empty house that i still worked

at home but for women to be one of them is mostly

the women i think it's women because they're

so nurturing sometimes you know it depends on

who's the bread woman of the family i think that

women should work part time i think because if

they're gonna have children. If you're going

to have children, I think it's beneficial to

have a part -time position. Why do I think it's

important to have that part -time position when

some moms just stay home and some moms work full

-time? But I think a happy medium for that would

be if women could work part -time while they're

raising their children, they still keep their

sense of identity, their independence, their

individuality. They're still being the nurturing

role that the feminine role plays in a family.

And the traditional family has to have that and

unfortunately a lot of. There's a lot of single

parent households out here. If it's a responsible

situation with the father's pain helping to support

the family. I think that's important to have

that balance so that you have time to meet your

obligations to yourself with your own creativity

with your own identity with your own career with

your own inner your personal growth. through

your position or whatever it is. But then you're

there to be able to nurture your children. I

think it just makes the overall I think just

makes things a lot happier. It just just seems

to make a lot more sense. So I know a lot of

people that they'll eat their dinner like eight,

nine o 'clock at night. So what they'll do is

they'll come home and they'll take care of the

kids because there's not enough time and then

they'll put the kids to bed and then they'll

eat their dinner. But I want to be able to do

all of this in a positive way. I don't want to

give my kids negativity because what's going

to happen then? They're going to go and they're

going to take it to school. If you're eating

dinner at nine o 'clock at night, you should

not eat three hours before bedtime because that

is not healthy to eat at nine o 'clock at night.

I don't even eat after six. My last meal because

i do like i'm starting to do this fasting where

i do an eight hour fast i do an eight hour window

that i open up and i'm trying to figure out where

it is i like to eat first thing but then again

i found myself snacking at night like with something

that you would in the end a lot of it has to

do with the daylight too but you should not eat

like two hours before the sun goes down never

eat when it's dark outside. No, I don't think

any human body should eat after six p .m. because

it you body needs at least three hours to process

whatever it was. I think we should walk after

we eat. I think that you should eat with your

family because that's important. The time that

you have together. That was the time I could

spend in communicating with my kids. And I would

be able to ask him, how was your day and what

was the best part of your day? Tell me what excited

you today. I can't ask them. How was your day?

They say, oh, fine. What was the best part of

your day? I mean, you have to ask them questions

to bring stuff out. So dinner time was very important

to me with my kids. That's when I could communicate

with them the most. And then after dinner, they

would get their homework together. And then while

I cleaned up, they would do their homework at

the table. It was kind of funny. My youngest

daughter was learning how to read and it was

kind of driving me crazy because she wasn't reading

right. She was like telling the story, not even

reading the words. So I told my oldest daughter,

I said, if you listen to her read while I clean

up, you don't have to help me clean up, but you

got to, you got to sit with her and read and

I'll pay you. She said, okay. Cause they were

chores, right? That was going to be her chore

instead of helping me clean. And one day listen

was just reading just phenomenally well, like

really quick. And I went over there and I'm like,

Oh my gosh, I was so surprised. And I started

looking in and then it's like, yes, you're really

good. Amanda wasn't even looking at the words

that she was reading. She was just listening

to the story. And Alyssa was doing the same thing,

not even she's making up her own stuff. She wasn't

even doing it, which is that's kind of funny.

I said, share that with you, Debbie, because

sometimes you're just as parents. We try to cut

corners wherever we can. That just wasn't a place

that I could cut a corner of it. Needless to

say, Amanda went back to help with me cleaning

up after dinner if she didn't have any homework.

We have to make that time to spend with our kids

and we have to make that time to really pay attention

and take care of our bodies because if we don't

take care of our physical bodies, they break

down. Eating after you walk, you know, if you

eat dinner together and then take a walk together

and just spend that time together. I'm all about

what you said about they wait and they spend

that time with their kids, but doesn't that include

eating meals and bonding with them? What is there

together leave the dishes go for a walk outside

sit down and read a book together so many many

families have that TV on all the time. Show off

only allow it you know if you come home from

your walk if there's time it's true it's gotta

bring some sort of balance and sort of unity

some sort of that's gotta call me nervous system

down especially if you're stressed at your work

situation it would be a clear your mind take

it off. And really regroup and get a grip on

really what's truly important. You know, one

of the things that I used to do, that I used

to tell people when they pick up their kids and

they had a stressful day and, and sometimes,

you know, it would be moms that would just be

crying and they were just so stressed out and

then they'd have to pick up these kids. And I

told them, put a plant outside your door. And

I had a plant outside my front door. And I said,

take it and rub a leaf. When you leave my house

in the morning, that you're leaving all that

stuff behind. You're leaving your family life.

You're leaving your trust. You care. You know,

this is now you're stepping into something new

so that on your drive home or on your drive to

the office, you're able to shift. You take that

time to shift gears so you can be present at

work because sometimes you fight with your kids

in the morning. They don't get dressed. They

won't cry when they didn't eat their breakfast,

whatever it is. You leave that back. but just

rub that, and I would just say, rub that leaf

on that plant. And then they would come to pick

up their kids, no matter what their day was,

good, bad, or indifferent, they would rub a leaf

on the plant. And it was funny because there

were certain leaves that you could see on the

plant, but it was just a little ficus tree outside

my door. But you'd see that people would rub

those leaves and just be, and find presents.

Just say, rub that leaf, and just say to yourself,

I'm leaving this behind. Whatever the day had

and now I'm shifting gears. I'm going to spend

now. I'm really excited to spend time with my

family. And when you pick up your kids and you're

in a good mood or in a better mood or balance

or present, I think it has a lot to do with how

the rest of your day is going to be. How's the

rest of it going to be if you pick up your kids

and you're in a really shitty mood and you pick

up your kids and they're happy. It's going to

be shit show that night. Right. It's going to

be terrible to be terrible. But if you pick up

your kids, even if you had a terrible day and

you had some sort of, what is a routine or some

sort of action to shift so that you're not bringing

work home or you're not bringing home to work,

whatever, you're just, you're able to separate

the two, find some sort of ritual or means of

keeping the two separate. Yeah, there's a lot

of ways to do it. And this is all the type of

stuff that I teach. Like I said, I practice it

myself, but I think one of the ways is to have

a way of cleaning out or clearing out before

I go home, when I leave work, before I go and

go home. So on my way while I'm driving, and

it could be a little meditation, breathing, a

breathing exercise. telling myself positive things

like a mantra. There's a lot of things that can

be done. And how long these things take? Five

minutes. And that will clear yourself out. But

the problem with that is if you don't do it every

day, then it builds up and builds up and builds

up. It's like a pressure cooker. A pressure cooker

needs to turn off. It's got to shut off at a

certain time. If it doesn't, it just builds inside

and it'll literally explode. Oh, that's what

happened to me. Yeah. And that's exactly what

happens. Finally, I just hit that reset button

and he really, really hard and and more more

than you can ever realize. I'm curious how different

would the results be for people if they could

just align across some of the things that we

have said and How do you think that people's

lives would change if they could just align with

some of these healthier ways of of progressing

through things and making these significant changes

in their life? How do you think that it can help

them? So everybody has their process, whatever

it is that I'm going to teach them. And that's

how they're going to do it. That's going to be

the result of it. If I teach them to get rid

of negativity or their ego. or their fear or

their dominance, whatever that process is, that's

the whole coaching thing. And the result is going

to be that alignment. But here's the thing. This

type of stuff needs to be done over and over

again, once a day, a few times a day, because

I'm constantly going to be hit with that negativity

because everybody is not positive. If everybody

was positive, then we wouldn't have all these

problems, all these issues. And you could take

it from what's going on in the world to what

you're literally your next step is or what your

last step was or you could just focus on yourself

and just say this is me this is what i'm doing

this is a problem and this is all i care about

that's all i'm looking at that's up to the individual

because what i look at is neither here nor there

but. I don't think that way. I think that's the

problem is what is around me. But that's not

what I teach. But that type of thing is the person

needs to be receptive or even just curious, just

so they say, well, this is interesting. I'm listening

to this podcast. Debbie is talking about this.

I don't really understand what it is, but I'm

a little curious. Maybe I'll book a call or something

like that and that would be fine because one

thing we want to do enough Lee Debbie and they

wanted to learn more from you Could you just

share with them really quickly before we wrap

this up? How could people get a hold of you to

help them? make these transitions or talk to

you about some of the things in their life that

they notice that they see and they really want

to Improve so I have a website life in bloom

and why net And I have social media, LinkedIn,

Facebook. I have podcasts, behavioral profit

and six figure switch. And you can find those

also on. Apple podcast YouTube this like 15 There's

a lot of places that I post those podcasts on

so there's a lot of ways but my website Life

in bloom and why net is probably the best place

because that has I think they will put that in

the description Below so that people can and

get a get in contact with you. That would be

really nice One of the things that I'm doing

personally is starting July 1st, which is going

to be after this obviously after the setting

July 1st My Life Made Easier online membership

starting too. I'm opening that up to people as

well. So maybe we could do some work together

when bringing those two things together. Do some

collaboration with that and really do the best

we can to help people out in society. I think

it would be a good thing. Debbie, I really, really

appreciate your time. I appreciate all of your

advice. I think it's so beautiful what you're

doing and it's really heartfelt. Really truly

work environments have gotten to kind of ended

up being like a dumping ground or creation the

ground for breeding creating or dumping ground

for For things that we just really don't know

how to figure out from the inside of us I think

that the world is really shifting in such a positive

direction I think more people are really trying

to look within and really trying to that they're

getting more in touch with themselves I think

is going to be It's going to be such an asset

so that they'll be able to handle what goes on.

I think 90 % of what happens, all the disruption,

all the corruption within and then all the other

disturbances that happen in relationship, I'd

have to say 85 % of it's because we are misinterpreted

on the inside of us. And I think that if we could

just figure out ways on the inside to better

process these situations, I think it's truly

going to benefit not only ourselves, but with

the entire world around us. Anyway, thank you

so much. Do you have any final words you'd like

to say before we close? If you're a listener,

think about what I said. Try to watch as much

of this podcast as you can or listen. Think about

what I said and see if it relates to you. Really

think and say to yourself, does this one little

part? It doesn't have to be the whole thing.

Is there a sentence that we talked about that

you could relate to? Maybe something that you

could say, yeah, I do this at my job and that's

not a good thing. Then that thing is worth exploring.

But that's only if the person is willing to say

that business owner or executive is willing to

say, I want to explore this little thing that

I see. I'm curious. I just want to try to find

out a little more if I can. It's baby steps.

The biggest changes that happen in your life

start with micro steps. So just change those

little teeny things. We'd be surprised at the

significance, the small little things that we

think are insignificant. They rip out into our

life and really cause such a huge difference.

Thank you again, Debbie, for being on this edition

of Life Made Easier podcast. And we will. Thank

you very much. I appreciate it.