Alicia Meek- Panic to Power

Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

Longo, Transformational Coach. This show looks

at how internal choices we make influence the

direction our lives and work take. Today's conversation

brings real experience into that space, exploring

how internal shifts quietly change outcomes over

time. We have a very special guest today, Alisha

Meek. Alisha, welcome to the show. Good afternoon.

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Thanks for

coming. Would you like to talk a little bit about

yourself and what happened to you in your past

and how you got over that, maybe a specific example

or a few examples, and how you came out the other

side and how it worked out for you to make a

positive? Absolutely. Yeah, so about five years

ago, which was The time when I met my now husband,

I was coming out of a bad relationship that I

had moved to Australia to be with this man and

found out when I arrived that he is this terrible

person and I had already given up my entire life

and moved to Australia. And so I was, I felt

that I had to stay in Australia to figure out.

why it is that the universe sent me there in

the first place. And that caused me some nervous

system issues. And so when I eventually did come

home from Australia, I decided to do a year and

a half of celibacy so that I could get rid of

the patterns of ending up with these terrible

men. And so after a year and a half of the celibacy

and this self work, I was just like, oh, this

is great. I guess I'm better now. And so I meet

this wonderful man. I meet this wonderful man

that Fast forward is my now husband. I meet him

and there ends up so much pressure because I

meet this wonderful man and I'm used to these

crappy men that are abusive and have drug addiction

and and they're liars and and all of these pieces

and so I end up in this high pressure situation

with meeting this wonderful man and I'm like

oh my god I have to be the perfect person now

like I have to be everything that I could never

be before and at the time I'm I'm an entrepreneur

I've been self -employed for most of my adult

life. And in this system where I am trying to,

I'm dating this man that's going really well.

He's looking at me like, oh, you're so amazing.

You're so perfect. You're so wonderful. It ends

up unintentionally putting all this pressure

on me. And so I'm like, okay, I have to be perfect.

So I have to work out for two hours every day.

I have to eat perfectly. I have to make more

money. I have to do better in my business. I

have to be prettier. I have to do my hair better,

my makeup better. And so I just end up putting

this mass amount of pressure on myself. And after

probably about two months of doing that, and

I think I'm happy, like, oh, I'm doing it. So

I think that I'm happy. I'm really ignoring a

lot of signals from my body. So what ends up

happening is I start getting these four -minute

panic attacks multiple times a day. And I'm like,

okay, they're only four minutes. I can deal with

that. I still refuse to listen to these signals

from my body that is coming in. And so for probably

a few weeks, I'm having multiple of these mini

panic attacks every day. And I decide I'm going

to hide it from my roommate, my best friend,

this man that I'm dating, my family, everyone.

I'm like, I can get through this. I can do this.

I'm going to power through, I'm going to push

through it and I'm going to force my body to

be able to deal with the amount of pressure that

I'm putting on it. So I go on this camping trip

with this lovely man and we're driving home in

his PT Cruiser that doesn't have any air conditioning.

It's the middle of August. It's crazy hot outside

and we stop. In traffic, traffic just completely

stops. And so I'm trapped inside of this incredibly

hot car. There's no air in the air, you know,

it's just muggy, hot heat. And so I feel the

panic attacks starting to come on. And he doesn't

know that any of this is happening with me. And

so I'm like, it's going to be four minutes. It'll

be fine. No. It just doesn't stop. And so we

get home. It's happening for about two hours

and I'm still hiding it from him. We get back

to his place. I go into his room. I try to meditate.

I try to do all of the things. Anyways, this

panic attack, eventually I did have to tell him,

but this panic attack lasted for eight weeks,

day and night. And I'm not talking about anxiety.

I'm talking about a panic attack where your body

believes that you're dying. and it's telling

you that you are in fight or flight and just

this absolute intensity. And so essentially what

this did is I couldn't work. I had to stop my

company. I had to stop taking clients. I had

to stop being a fitness instructor, everything

that I was doing at the time. I basically couldn't

leave my house without support because everything

was so triggering to the panic attack. And I

was wait, I wasn't sleeping. I'm awake up in

the middle of the night, just a massive amount

of symptoms. And I try to push this man away

because I'm like, I don't want you to see me

like this. And I might be like this for the rest

of my life. I don't know what's going on. Anyways,

he refuses to leave me. And the big, big chunk

of the reason why he is my now husband is because

we were only together for three months at this

stage. And so he could have looked at this situation

and gone, oh, this girl's nuts. And, and I don't

know what's going on with her. And this had never

happened to me before. So I, I didn't know what

was going on. And so I gave him this out and

he just basically said no. And I was like, okay,

thank you because I do actually need the support.

And it took me years to recover from this. It

took me four years to recover from this. And

even still, my nervous system is testy because

of it, you know? And these are the moments in

life where we try to, especially women, we try

to become masculine and super linear and push

ourselves really hard and believe that that's

going to create the outcome that we want. When

in reality, it's more so balanced and like listening.

And I had essentially turned off my intuition,

turned off the voices of my body and said, I'm

just going to power through and be this person

that I've decided that this person wants me to

be. One of the best things that ever happened

to me, ultimately, were those moments in life

where you can look back on these incredibly hard

challenges that have come up in your life and

you can look back at them and you go, wow, that

is actually one of the best things because it

directed me. First, it made this relationship

with this man incredibly secure and supportive

and wonderful. And we bonded very much and he

was extremely supportive. And now we are married

and we have this incredible supportive marriage.

And basically I had to look at my life and I

had to go, where am I pushing myself and where

am I pushing against myself? And I had to figure

that out and then I had to rebuild myself and

I had to rebuild my confidence because my confidence

was shattered from this entire situation. And

so basically the steps that I took in that time

was I started grounding. So taking my bare feet

and my bare hands and putting them on the ground.

I didn't have a job. I didn't have anything to

do all day. So I could go down to a park and

put my body on the earth and allow it to take

out the positive ions that are in my body and

exchange them with negative ions, which is grounding

and calming for the nervous system. I started

meditating. I couldn't even listen to music at

this time. I couldn't watch TV because anything

overstimulated my brain. The only thing that

I could read was Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth.

And that was just incredible. Just every single

day I would basically just sit there and read

that. I mean, it wasn't incredible at the time.

I was in horrible panic and freaking out and

my life is ruined kind of a thing. And so slowly,

slowly over about a year, it was about a year

until I really caught my breath. Like the panic

attack. stopped after about eight weeks, but

then I was in extreme anxiety. And so I really

had to, like I said, build up my confidence from

there. And one of the things that absolutely

helped me the most, there's grounding, there's

meditation, there's books, there's presence,

all of these things. The number one thing that

helped me was actually creating a morning practice

that has pieces of what I call morning rituals.

And so this is where I sit down and I breathe

and I drink a cup of tea and I check in with

my body. I actually ask my body instead of trying

to ignore the signals from my body that says

I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm stressed out, I'm this,

I'm that. So every morning I spend this time

asking my body and checking in with everything.

I have positive affirmations. I have something

called a morning declaration. And this is a series

of affirmations that are about two and a half

minutes where I sit in power pose and I say these

lovely things to myself and about myself. And

that's what really helps. trigger the unconscious

and the identity into into something that is

not scared all the time into something that is

not in fight or flight all the time because I

now need to let my body know no we are safe and

everything is everything is and you know I'd

have a little bit of stretch in there and so

basically I just built like This morning routine

that could be anywhere from five minutes to two

and a half hours depending on the day and that's

what made the biggest difference for me because

then I went into the day with. This confidence

with I've already checked in with myself I'm

not waking up in a rush already stressed out

running out my door or taking clients immediately

and so that made the biggest difference for me

and now I have continued that five years later.

happily married, a secure, stable, steady person

back to a full schedule. But I make that time

to check in with myself on a daily basis to see

what's going on in here because the world is

set up in a way for us to not hear ourselves,

not listen to ourselves, not listen to our nervous

systems, our bodies. All of that noise that's

happening in your mind all of the time, we actually

need to acknowledge that. We need to listen to

it and acknowledge it because every time that

you try to suppress it, it's just going to come

back stronger. So if you can be present with

it, listen to it. What is the noise saying? Okay,

I hear you. I'm not going to live inside of that

noise all of the time, but I want to let you

know that I hear you. Act like it's your inner

child and you're listening to your inner child's

complaints and all of these things. So we're

not saying shut up and trying to push it away,

listening to that, being present with it, allowing

the sensations and then choosing how you want

to move into your day. Very good. All good stuff.

And this is the type of things, you know, exactly

what I teach. So when you were talking about

being with the earth, right, and going someplace.

I do this thing where I teach to go by the water,

this is if the person likes the water, the ocean

or a lake, any type of water. And when you do

that, you can release your negativity and you're

gonna give it to the water. And then you get

back the chi and that replaces it with a positive.

It could be energy, it could be voices, it could

be talking, could be anything. And that's a good

way of releasing it. But what you're saying is

very true. But as far as talking to your voices

or thoughts or whatever, and you want to acknowledge

them and everything, right, that you were saying,

I want to listen to them, but I want to be able

to release them in a healthy way. And that's

the way that you explained burying something

and telling myself that it's not there. when

it's really there and telling myself that it's

going to go away when I know it's not going to

go away is burying it, basically. That is not

a healthy way of releasing something. So did

you just do this by yourself? This was the way

that you were with the relationships and the

marriages, whatever. And then you did all these

things to help you not to be that way anymore.

So the result was a positive thing. So did you

do these things all by yourself? Did you know,

because you just told me you just explained multiple

things that you did. Did you have any guidance

or maybe from a professional or did you just

know to do these things, self -help or whatever

it was that you did? Well, yes, I've practiced

practical spirituality and modern applied psychology.

I've been studying that and working within those

realms for the past 20 years. And when this happened,

I went to every private doctor, I went to hypnotherapists

and acupuncturists and massage therapists and

basically everybody that I could think of, medical

intuitives, all of these things. I went and tried

all of it. And there probably was a few pieces

from there, but realistically, everything did

come from trial and error of me seeing what made

me feel better because we can pass on this knowledge

to other people and hear something that worked

for me. Maybe it'll work for you, but the truth

is that There's no straight cut way for any of

this. It is, you need to try this and see if

this works for you. And then you need to change

it and adapt it for you. Don't take somebody

else's practice and take it on fully as your

own. Well, how would I change this for myself?

And use that to work for yourself, keeping everything

unique, individual, and it keeps you in an authentic

place as well. So absolutely, I had plenty of

support, but the truth is is that. Nothing could

really work for me at the time. I needed to wait

it out. I needed to stay calm and wait it out

and be present with what was happening with my

body and calm and soothe my body and allow that

to pass. And absolutely acupuncture and massage

helped quite a bit. Yeah, that's good. That makes

sense. So you had prior knowledge, prior experience.

So you kind of had some idea, right, with what

you were doing. One of the things that I wanted

to mention was that if I have a negative thought

or I'm in a space that I don't want to be in

or I'm sick and suffering, right? There is a

way out and there's a way to go from that negativity

to come out the other side and be a positive.

And you're come out as a positive and you're

a very good example of that. because of the story

that you just told, which is a specific thing.

Now, one of the things that I could do is, which

I've done, and I know a lot of people that have

done this, is that if I'm going through something,

I could ask 10 people how they got through it,

because now they're like, oh, I did that and

now I'm not that way anymore. I'm doing this

instead. I could ask 10 people and then they

could give me their... explanation or their description

about how they did it. And I could take one thing

from each person and then I could make it my

own. Or maybe not. Maybe I take two things from

somebody and nothing from another person. So

I can kind of like mix it up. And that's a way

that I can make it my own, because, like you

said, every individual is completely different.

And this type of stuff, especially what you're

talking about, because this is all stuff that

I teach, spirituality, praying, meditating, which

is basically the core. I don't really come out

and say that, but that's where it stems from.

Let's put it that way. That is a very individual

thing. That's a very personal thing. It's very

private. That is why, to me, that I can't really

copy that verbatim from somebody else. And if

I know to do these things where I can make it

my own and I know that there is a different way,

then I can see that there's hope. But I can't

do that if I don't want to be helped. And if

I don't see that some type of vision or some

type of knowing that I can come out of this.

I might not 100 % know, but I still need to have

the willingness to be helped. Some type of desire.

I have another thing that I teach too, which

is called creating a knowing, which is kind of

another thing that you explained. And it's, I

know you were saying like, you were telling yourself

or you were doing it through prayer and meditation

or whatever, but I know that it's gonna work

out. I 100 % know there's no doubt in my mind.

And I call that creating and knowing. And what

happens then is that it will happen. It will

happen. There's no doubt. Why? Because I know

there's no doubt because I think that because

I've already created my mindset to be that way.

Very good. Excellent. Is there anything that

you would like to say in closing? Maybe. What

are you doing right this second? How is your

life like right now today? That's an excellent

question because I am in a space right now where

I am 10 times the expansion of my company. Like

I've put a huge financial investment into my

company and I've hired a full -time assistant.

And so I have a lot of pressure. So this is going

to be one of the challenges to my nervous system

because this is an injury on my nervous system,

I will always remember and I will always have

to work with in some way. But because I'm in

this expansion right now, I can feel my nervous

system. It's like little sparks in my hands and

my feet sometimes and even in my stomach that

are pushing yourself a little bit too far. And

so, yes, today, yesterday, the day before that,

I'm having to take my time in the morning. And

I've actually gotten my husband to start sitting

down and doing my morning rituals with me, which

is, which is really lovely to be able to do that

together. But then even throughout the day, I

have to check in with myself. And so just previous

to recording this, I was like, I'm going to take

this hour off, I'm going to take from 11 to 12

off so that I can be super present and that my

nervous system can be calm and so that I'm not

jumping from one thing to the next. And so when

I sat down here, I'm calm and my nervous system

is not at this high level. And that's because

I took that time to do the things that I know

for myself. So it's like you solve the problem

from the big event that you have, but you must

figure out what you're going to do. in the future.

You must carry that on. Figure out the rituals

and practices that work for you as an individual

and then continue doing those all of the time.

Don't allow yourself to get back to that place

where you are so overwhelmed that you essentially

have like a boiling point and your pot has boiled

over in your body, in your nervous system, in

your mental health, in your in your well -being

in general. So gather these tools for yourself

and keep that toolbox present with you on a daily

basis. Yeah, and also that's a good point. And

then also the thing about another thing I was

thinking of is self -discipline. So if I form

this plan or changing my attitude or whatever

it is. And then i want to be able to follow through

with it so if i commit myself to do it every

day i have to be able to make sure you know that

i do it every single day it's not like i'll do

it today and tomorrow and then i don't want to

do it the next few days so it's like whatever

i do it's like if i go to school and the teacher

says okay you'll have homework. every Wednesday.

And then if I decide I don't want to do it one

Wednesday, then what's going to happen? I might

fail or I might get a bad mark only because I

was committed. I made an agreement with the teacher.

The teacher said do the homework every Wednesday

and I made that commitment that I would. And

one Wednesday I didn't do it. So it just takes

that one time that I don't stick by my commitment.

And then everything could go backwards, you know,

so that's the thing. And we go forwards and backwards.

To me, that's just a human thing. And I think

you explain that a little bit too in your story

because nobody's perfect. Human beings are just,

anything could happen. As we wrap up, this conversation

highlights how small internal shifts can create

meaningful change. If something from today, stayed

with you, take a moment to reflect on how it

connects to your own direction and decision.

This has been the Internal Shift Show. Thank

you for listening. Thank you, Alicia, for being

on the show. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks

for having me.