Anna Quigley – Turning Life Challenges Into Purpose

Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

Longo, Transformational Coach. This show looks

at how the internal choices we make influence

the direction our lives and work take. Today's

conversation brings real experience into that

space, exploring how internal shifts quietly

change outcomes over time. We have a very special

guest today, Anna Quigley, Transformational Coach.

Good afternoon, Anna. Welcome to the show. Thank

you, Debbie. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank

you for being here. I would just like to ask

you to describe your story and anything that

happened to you in the past. Any traumatic experience

or any type of negative event or anything like

that. And then just explain how you got over

the hump and the process that that happened,

how that happened. And then what is the positive

out of that? What is the positive outcome? Now,

the goal here is to have the listener identify,

but also show and explain that this can happen.

I can go from a negative to a positive. I don't

have to sit in whatever negative situation it

is or maybe I'm upset or maybe mad all the time,

whatever the situation is. I don't have to sit

in that negativity. There's always, always, always

a way out. So if you could explain that to me,

I would appreciate it. Thank you. Well, thank

you because you're absolutely right. There always,

always, always is a way out. And the way is built

into us. I believe that the tools are external,

but the direction and the guidance is already

with us when we get to these major transitions.

And I'll share a particularly challenging one.

My life's been, I joke, it's been sort of a roller

coaster compared to like my brother's escalator.

It's been a little wild ride, but a lot of wonderful

lessons. I had dreamt of this perfect life and

created it in my life. I had a job that I really

loved. I was living where I wanted to live, the

house that I'd wanted, friends and people around.

I just, I was loving it. And slowly and subtly,

I really was picking up some signs, but I wasn't

really paying attention. The job was kind of

getting not great, and the industry changes,

and there were just a lot of weird dynamics that

were going on. But I loved the job, I loved where

I was, everything was good, so I wasn't going

to rock the boat. But there were things that

were happening in my life that were like, okay,

something's not right here. The house that I

had bought, I was warned not to buy it, but I

did anyway, because it was my dream house. And

I ignored that, which in retrospect, I don't

know, should I have what I have? It would have

been a different story. But these were all little

signs that were popping up, kind of leading to

this implosion, really, is what I think of it.

In a matter of a very short period of time, this

perfect life that I had created imploded. It

just, it fell apart. The career, the job just,

it was with virtually no notice. It was getting

stressful and I had decided I'm working on my

house. I'm going to redo the kitchen. I need

time. I took a couple of weeks off. My boss took

that as, well, you're looking for another job.

So I'm going to move you out of that position.

At the same time, I ended up in a legal dispute

with co -owner of my building. So I'm out of

a job. I'm dealing with lawyers. I'm in tears

just this period of time. I spent not a huge

amount of time, but of course, naturally, I went

into the what's going on, what's happening here

and why is this happening? This isn't what I

dreamt of. This isn't what I planned. This isn't

what, you know, I chose. But yet this was what

was showing up. And I realized that the question

wasn't why or what did I do or why did this happen?

The question was, what's next? Because there

were Those moments of things that were showing

up in my life the universe kind of saying it's

time to make a change this you need to be moving

and going someplace else doing something else

and i wasn't listening. I wasn't listening that's

so often the case so in this chaos i'm looking

at i gotta get a lawyer i have to find a job

i have to do all of this my mo method is always

to get myself center to get into nature to get.

give myself some quiet space. And I highly suggest

this for everyone. When they're in those moments

of crisis, find some time, steal some time to

be alone, to be quiet so that you can hear the

inner guidance that we all have helping us. And

I literally said out loud, I just need to go

sit on the top of the mountain and meditate that

for me worked and there happened to be local

mountains. Well, within a Day and a half, my

cousin called and she said, I'm going to India

to an ashram. You want to come? Well, the ashram

happened to be on top of a mountain. I thought,

OK, signs don't get clear. No, it's like, OK,

I said this is exactly what I wanted. I hadn't

planned on India, but I like, OK, if you don't

pay attention to this one, you're really going

to end up down the rabbit hole. So I took a big

deep breath and a leap of faith. And I took off

and I went to India and ended up not being on

top of a mountain. But that's another there was

another issue there. But it was an amazing time.

And I got clarity. I never get all the answers.

I don't think any of us do. Yes, I'd like to

know this is going to happen and then this and

this and this. But we don't. I get. what I call

three feet in front of me, okay? I know what

the next few steps are. And then it's an act

of faith. It's like, all right, I trust my instincts.

I trust my intuition. I trust what I know when

I'm literally listening to these little pieces

that were calling to me. And I came back with

clarity, surprisingly, that it was time for me

to move. But it was so clear and so strong. I

thought, okay, this is it. So again, I spent

some time. I still had to deal with the lawyers

and got that resolved. I sold my house and I

moved out of state because that's where I was

feeling called. That's where I was really feeling

was the next step. Now this all, not ironically,

happened just as I was hitting midlife. And that's

so often the case. Midlife's a natural transition

time for us because usually by then, you've done

the family or you've done the career, you've

built the career, the education, all of that.

And you can be extremely successful. And I was

happy. But all of a sudden, it's like there's

an opening. It's a natural pause that we get

to reassess. And it's like, I joke, it's like

halftime at a football game. What worked? What

didn't work? We're not going to do that play

again because that one wasn't moving us in the

direction that we want. So it's about, it is

about what's next and what that step is. So I

took, I took a leap of faith and moved up to

Washington state. And I'm in this, I got the

house that I had envisioned and I'm up there

going, okay, God, now what's next? I'm here,

what are the next three feet? What's next with

that? And that was my next project was listening.

And what did I feel like I needed to do? And

I went within one of the tools that I like to

teach and I share with clients and workshops

is when you're not clear, the first step, well,

two early things to do if you're not clear. is

find that quiet time, some space, even if you're

five minutes in your car before you go in to

take care of the kids or feed the family or whatever,

find some moments of silence that you can start

to listen. Nature is great. I got the power of

the shower. Just float in a tub or go to the

ocean, water, there's calming. And what we're

doing is we're tuning out that noise. the chaos

and all of them to do's to find that space and

then also talk to your friends and your family

because every single one of us has a unique purpose

that we were born with. Gifts that we have that

other people may have one or two of them but

nobody has the exact same combination of gifts

that we have and that's what we're here to use.

And when we're not, and I really in retrospect

know that I wasn't fully using the gifts that

I had before this implosion, and I was being

guided to use them, to use them more. So I think

we've all had the situation where a friend or

a family member will come up and go, oh, Debbie,

I would give anything if I could do what you

do. How do you do that? It's amazing. and you

if you're like most of us just go yeah thank

you nice it's just something that i do you know

it's just something we dismiss it we disavow

these things that are our gifts to give and that's

what i did i had friends a couple of friends

and family and say oh you're so good at accessorizing

and doing your house and jewelry. And I'm like,

thank you. Really sweet of you. Thank you. But

I really kind of dismissed it because I think

all of us have had the situation where a friend

or a family member or someone comes up to you

and says, Debbie, oh my gosh, how do you do that?

I would give anything if I could do what you

do. And we naturally kind of go, thank you. But

what are you talking about? It's just something

I do. It's like, It's not a big deal because

it's so natural for us. We dismiss it. We disavow

it. We just don't think it's really of importance.

And yet others go, wow, that's just amazing.

I would love to know how to do that. Those are

huge, huge clues and keys to finding our purpose.

and to being able to figure out what that next

step is. So when I moved out of state, I did

that. I started asking and I got clear on with

my silence time. All right, what am I good at?

What have I learned in all of these years? What

skills do I have? How can I create this next

situation? And taking the information, I decided

I was going to start an import business. And

I had just been to India and I thought, oh, yeah,

I love handmade goods and whatnot. So I'm going

to try that. But I didn't know what I was going

to import. So I just kind of let's go. Well,

it took about three days. And I realized every

store, every stall, every street vendor that

was selling jewelry and handbags and scarves

and decorative accessories, I would just like,

I mean, I just rushed to them. And I finally

realized this is how these pieces fit together.

This is part of the puzzle. These things that

innately I'm interested in that I like being

around, like working with, I can do that and

incorporate those into the business. And that's

what I ended up doing. Interesting. That was

very good so far. Thank you. Well, the first

question I have is how did you know to do these

things? Did you get professional help or you

read self -help books? I know you mentioned a

few ways, but I'm curious to know what was your

thinking? What was your thought process and how

did you know or if you even knew or what clue

it was that told you you wanted to really change

and really do this and turn the negative into

a positive. And well, you explain the process,

but what was really your thought pattern? That's

what I'm trying to ask. Well, from the time I

was in college, really, I had what they in this

is actually now a medical term, purpose anxiety

out of college. I think it's natural to us. OK,

what am I going to do for a career? But. What's

interesting is that around midlife, we have that

same openness where we're satisfied, but there's

still something more. But we go through the anxiety

of, oh, well, maybe it's too late. I'm 50. I'm

60. I'm, well, it's probably too late. And where

do I even begin to do this? And through those

years from when I started probably in my 20s,

I started studying spiritual, all kinds of different

religions and metaphysics. I was the yoga and

meditation, but meditation's been a key for me.

That silence, that quiet time, it has opened

myself up to learn to recognize my intuition.

And that's never failed me. When you can differentiate

between the rational mind kind of saying, yeah,

yeah, yeah, you need to do this. and that quiet

inner voice. And it's sometimes a voice that

comes through every one of our senses. It's that

little whisper or a yell if you're moving into

an intersection and a car is cutting across the

other way. I think we've all had that where it's

like, stop, wait, and you don't know why. But

it can be repetitive signs that you see when

you're not sure what's next. Where do I go? And

for me, when I was leaving California and going

up to the Northwest, It was just a lot of images

and feelings and pictures that were showing up

about the Northwest and that I wanted the trees

and all of that more nature. And I was like,

OK, that that was some of the guidance to paying

attention to these intuitive clues. It's the

same if two or three people tell me about a book

or a movie within a short period of time. I make

note because there's something in there for me.

I'm not it could be 20 people would hear that

same series of information, but doesn't resonate

for them because it's not coming from through

from or for their intuition from their intuition.

So that that's been that's really been key. And

I've learned to pay attention to it. And I tested

it early on because I'm like, I don't know, it's

this intuition thing. Really? I tested it and

I have had some really funny experiences and

listening to it and one I didn't. And it's never

been wrong for me. It has never been wrong. So

the more I've gotten to work with it, the more

faith I've had in that. So that when I got to

that what's next, it made it a little easier

for me to have that trust and to take that leap

of faith. I recognize these signs because I've

practiced. And you can't, it's a skill. You can

get better at recognizing that. voice, those

signals. Yeah, that was good. Thank you. So it's

a combination basically of self -help. And also

to me, a lot of things that you were just explaining

about the intuition, I call it sixth sense or

what's, what's my gut feeling, things like that.

But to me, that is more of an internal gift.

So now here's the thing. So the first thing that

I wanted to mention is that when you came out

of the other side, right? Like you said, you

had the anxiety and stuff. These types of things,

like I was explaining before, not everybody to

people have these things, but not everybody knows

how to get to them. So I want to explain like

we were talking, the person story, blah, blah,

blah. But people that don't know, like I teach

this stuff. I teach all these things, praying

and meditating if they want, but intuition, because

everybody has a different version of these types

of things that you're explaining, negative and

positive, inside of them. But that depends on

whether they wanna... look at it, whether they

have the willingness, whether they think that

that's going to work for them. My mother was

very psychic all of her life, literally really

psychic, and she hated it. She just kept shutting

it off and shutting it off and shutting it off

her whole entire life. And she did would have

done like she would have been like like really

successful at it. She would have been like a

world speaker or something for it. I'm telling

it was amazing, but she just didn't want the

gift. She just kept pushing it away because whatever

reason. And I didn't say anything. I have gifts

like that too, and I wanna advance them and stuff.

But the point is that all of these things that

we go through, and I have a similar story with

different examples, obviously. and all these

things that we go through, there is an internal

solution. It's not external. There is a solution

and a way and a process and everything that's

already inside of us. So now, if I want to focus

on that thing, whatever that thing is, the situation

or whatever, then I want to say, I want to tune

in to that. Focus on the thing obviously because

that's what I can identify with and I want to

say to myself is This something that I want to

change now you were talking about what's three

steps ahead of me So another thing I teach is

not to predict the future. I want to be so this

is a difference I want to be able to be in tune

with my inner self or or gut feeling, whatever

you want to call it. But I don't want to be a

person that's predicting the future unless I'm

experienced like a psychic or something like

that. But I'm talking about a normal person because

for me, when I do that, the future and the projection

is always negative. And nine times out of ten,

it doesn't come true. But if I don't do that

and I say, what's three steps ahead of me? OK,

and I don't know, I don't look farther than that.

Right. Then, number one, that's a good way for

me to gain spirituality, which is a lot of connected

to a lot of things that we're talking about here.

Because I'm letting it go. I'm not in control

of like, I don't know my future. You know what

I mean? I'm not a psychic. And even if I was,

I still wouldn't know everything. It's impossible.

And I might not even get it right. So this doesn't

work the way that a lot of people think that

it works. There's a lot of people think this.

I help a lot of people with this. There's tons

of people that think like. They know their future

and they could know what's going on, what's going

to happen like five years from now, and they're

like completely sure. And this is all stuff that

will get us stuck in negativity. We doesn't happen.

And then we say, oh, I'm a failure. It didn't

happen. I want it. And then they want to control

it. I want to do this even two weeks from now.

I want to do this. Oh, it didn't happen. Oh,

now I'm a failure. It's not going to happen.

Nothing's ever going to happen in my life. And

I'm never going to accomplish anything. And that's

going to be the end of it. You want to know how

many people I helped like that a lot. Oh, but

I want to add another level to that, because

no, we cannot predict. We cannot say, well, I'm

going to do this. Absolutely. Blah, blah, blah.

However, this is the caveat. Our brains are wired

to respond to our thoughts, our thoughts. We've

heard that we know the power of that. There is

a major difference between saying, well, OK,

here's in my rational mind, I want to do this

and I want to be. Five years. I want to be vice

president of the company and I'm gonna do I'm

working hard toward that Well, good luck with

that because universe has other plans for you

and your path unfolds in different ways. However

positioning Envisioning and it's sensory imagination.

It is every sense again back to those five in

the senses that we use to recognize our intuition.

If you envision an outcome, not the steps, you

cannot say this, these are the steps, this is

gonna happen, then I'm gonna go here, then I'm

gonna go there. But if you can envision the life

where you want to be as if you already have it,

then you're literally, this is neuroscience,

it is. proven, our brain doesn't know the difference

between what is reality and what we envision.

But it's not telling what we're going to do or

are saying, here's what we're going to do. And

you don't even have to know how you get there.

That's what is so cool. But if you can envision

your life a year from now or three years, five

years from now, whatever. and feel it. Who are

you around? How are you living? Are you living

with ease? But not the details, not the specifics

of the how, but yes, I want to be a life coach.

like you're doing, and I'll be helping, envision

helping people or envision doing that. But that's

the difference. You can't tell the universe how

things are going to happen and the steps that

are going to take. We have no control over that.

Yes, we have to act on it. That's our power.

We take action on the guidance that we get, those

inner ideas, and we hold that vision of where

we want to be. But the steps in between, it's

three steps. You see those three steps, you take

action on them, and then you open up for the

guidance to take you the next three steps. So

what you're what you're saying to me, the way

that I teach it is called manifesting. So there's

a lot of there's a vision board to make a vision

board. I can do praying, meditating. I could

do I call it creating a knowing where I just

know. And then I repeat. The same thing. I want

to have a house. I want to have a house. So a

hundred times a day. I'm just repeating that

over and over the key. I'm sorry. And that's

up because the key with language words are so

powerful. It's I have a house. I have my in the

now. Right. So if you're living it now, I want

always. And this is really it's because a lot

of people do that. I want this. I want a husband.

I want a relationship. I want a job. I want to

I want. always keeps it in front of you. It always

keeps it separate. The I have, you're owning

it and your brain's responding. It's like, oh,

I've got to get busy and create the opportunity.

Yeah, you're right about that. So if I'm looking

for a job and I go on and I say I have a job,

I have a job, even though I don't have a job,

I don't have a job because I'm looking for a

job. And then I would say I have a job, I have

a job. But the place who I'm working with and

am I working in an office? Am I working in a

warehouse? Am I working? in out in the field

and how does it feel and how do you know how

all of that. Yeah. Yeah. But the point I'm trying

to make is that I teach that I don't know anything

about the future. Now, I do teach the manifesting.

Like we're saying, I have a job, I have a house.

But it depends on what the person wants, what

their thought processes, how they want to do

their coaching. Because I ask them, what is your

goal? What do you want out of this? Why are you

coming to me? Why do you want coaching? What's

happening in your past? What's your story? Blah,

blah, blah. And I have surveys and questions

and all kinds of things. But the point is that

depends. I have to conform to what the person

wants. Now they're. wants or desires or whatever

might change. But most of the time, the way that

I teach it is I don't know anything. I don't

manifest anything. I don't put myself in a place.

I don't know anything. I come with a blank slate

and that's a one day at a time. But there are

people like example executives and they have

to make goals. They have no choice because that's

the way their business runs. And if they don't

make goals and they don't set the goals and the

employees and stuff don't make them, then their

business is going to fail. Bottom line. So they

have to form their thinking in a way where they

say manifesting and making goals and doing that

all in the positive. So you know what I mean?

So it depends on. the person and really what

they want to do. Sometimes they have experience

in that already. I don't know. There's a lot

of situations, but if it's a blank, if it's a

person that that doesn't know anything and wants

to learn and different things, I teach nine times

out of 10 that three steps ahead and fine, you

know, but I don't normally go beyond that because

I don't have any expectation. I don't know what's

going to happen. I don't have any. If I am in

a marriage or relationship, I don't know what's

going to happen in this relationship. It was

bad in the past. That's why I'm getting coaching,

but I don't know what's going to happen. I have

no expectation and I'll never fail that way.

But there's always the element of action that

needs to be taken. And it could be one step.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a

step. Whatever that changes, because nothing

ever changes without action. It's inertia. You'll

keep going in the same direction until you change

that. And that's where action comes in, whatever

that looks like. And that could be meditating,

that could be journaling, it could be doing the

vision. And you're not projecting, you're saying

this is how it has to happen. So I agree with

you completely on that. It's like we don't get

to say the how. Right. But for goals, like you

said, the executives, yes, they have to have

the rational plan as well. But Even some of the

examples and research that I've done shows that

really successful CEOs of companies, the majority

of them when faced with a complex decision. Yes,

they deal with the facts and the details and

all of that, their goals, those tangible things.

But the final decision, they rely on that intuition.

They rely on that wisdom, that built up experience

and the inner wisdom to make the final decision.

Where newer CEOs, KPMG did a survey and they

don't as much. They haven't learned how to blend

those two, which is just so powerful. So that

was good. So the last question is, How do you

feel today based on everything that's happened

and the result? How do you feel right this second?

I feel so I'll start crying. I feel so blessed.

I, I truly do. It's been well, I am living my

purpose, which is what I was in tears about when

I was 20 something going. What is it? I know

there's something and it has been popping up.

Various times throughout my life opportunities.

I've had to make a living so we have to make

choices I have to do this because I have to make

a living you have to you know, we live on this

planet and it's human form but it's been coming

up and coming up and there have been moments

when I've been able to really focus on this more

and a couple years ago I made a decision and

stepped away from another toxic situation one

that was not I learned to listen when things

are not working well. And it's like, okay, I'm

being guided. This is, I call it, it's not a

midlife crisis that we go through. It's a midlife

calling. It's like, hey, over here, these are

your gifts. Pay attention. And I just, I'm living

a leap of faith, an act of faith in doing this.

But I also know I have the confidence and faith

that this is what I'm here for. These are the

gifts that I've been given. that I was born with

and that I'm using those. And as long as I continue

to do this, I just feel just totally blessed.

Yeah, that was a very good closing. Thank you.

So as we wrap up this conversation, highlights

how small internal shifts can create meaningful

change. If something from today stayed with you,

take a moment to reflect on how it connects to

your own direction and decisions. This has been

the Internal Shift Show. Thank you for listening.

Thank you, Anna, for being on the show. I appreciate

it. My pleasure. Thanks, Debbie.