Chip Scholz- Stroke to Strength

Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

Longo. This show looks at how internal choices

we make influence the direction our lives work

and take. Today's conversation brings real experience

into that space, exploring how internal shifts

quietly change outcomes over time. We have a

very special guest today, Chip Sulz. Good afternoon,

Chip. Welcome to the show. Hey, Debbie, how are

you? Doing good. So I would like to ask you to

tell a little bit about your story and what negative

or traumatic situation happened in your past

and how you got through it. and what was the

positive end result. And the point to this is

that we want the listeners to be able to identify

with the thing, the situation, and whatever you

say, because we want to show that there is a

way out if the listener is stuck in this type

of situation, or even one that was similar, if

they could identify with some part of your story,

and now the listener can say, I can get through

this and turn it into a positive. Debbie, I've

lived a long time. And when you live a long time,

everybody would love to live a blessed life and

no rain should fall, but that isn't the way it

goes. My first marriage was failed. It was 10

months. She really liked sex. She just didn't

like it with me. And that was a problem for the

marriage. And over the course of, I think in

five years, they had the top 10. stressors in

somebody's life. And over the course of five

years, I had every stressor. Divorce, my parents

died, and it just had a change of location, change

of jobs, all that kind of stuff. So we go through

all this years after years after years. So fast

forward to 1999 or 1998, and I got laid off by

a company that I worked for for 12 years. It

would have been nice to say that we had a parting

of the ways, but it was not. So all of a sudden

I was in LA. I did not grow up in LA. My wife

did not grow up in LA. And I was in LA and my

wife asked me, well, what do you want to do?

And I said, well, I don't want to do it here.

So we decided to pick up and move to North Carolina.

27 years ago, we moved to North Carolina and

started over and just started our lives over.

She took a different path with her. occupation,

and I did the same. I hung a shingle and said,

yesterday I couldn't spell consultant, today

I R1. And it was tough. The first five years

were really tough. Then I started catching some

traction. I started doing really well. Got some

really great clients. I got some fairly big companies

that were clients of mine. And I was flying high.

In 2012, It was to the point where I was spending

200 nights a year in a hotel. I was on more flights

than most pilots are on. And I had let myself

get out of control. I looked at a video, I just

saw a video the other day of me back in 2008

and 350 pounds, full on diabetes that I wasn't

keeping very good control on, full on cholesterol,

all of that kind of stuff. I was doing really

well. I was working really hard. I wasn't sleeping

more than four hours a night. I was just, I was

running and gunning. And March 29th, 2012, I

had a stroke. It's one of those things where

God taps you on the shoulder and says, hey, I

think it's time for you to slow down. I was,

I came out of that with some aphasia. So I was

paralyzed on my right side, lasted a couple months.

It's funny when you talk about overcoming misfortune.

I mean, this is Obviously, it was self -induced.

Obviously, I brought it on myself. Honestly,

I have nobody to blame but me or maybe genetics

or whatever. But you have a choice. And the choice

is whether you give in and curl up in a ball

and die or you do something about it. Thankfully,

it was a mild stroke, although the effects of

it were not. Before the stroke, I was reading

two books a week. after the stroke, I couldn't

get through a paragraph without without stopping

and trying to figure out what it said. I only

had one woe is me moment. I only had one that

I remembered that I said, why is this happening

to me? And my mantra, which had served me pretty

well in business, now became a part of my life.

And the mantra was failure is not an option.

I mean, we're not a failure when we fail. Failure

is just a lead to another another reality, another

situation. And so I knew it was going to be tough.

I knew it was going to be not easy. I slept for

the first two weeks after I got home. I was actually

in Florida on a business trip. That's a call

that no wife would ever like to get or no spouse

would ever like to get. And she came down, collected

me, brought me back home. I slept for the first

couple of weeks. Over the course of the next

12 months, I lost 110 pounds. I could not walk

around the block when I got home. I started walking,

and before long, I was walking five or 10 miles.

In fact, everything's an app. So on the tracking

app, I walked 3 ,500 miles in the first two years

after the stroke and continued to do it to this

day 14 years later, the 14 years in March. And

so it's all mindset, isn't it? It's all mindset.

It's how you approach it. Bad things have happened.

The death of my parents. My dad was 51. My mom

was 56. When they died, I was an orphan at 30.

Bad things happen. How do you recover? And that's

really the best part about this is that recovery

is possible. In fact, recovery really is inevitable.

Everybody loves a good redemption story. I think

one of the most popular movies of all time was

the Shawshank Redemption. And it was a good redemption

story. And so I guess that's the lesson I had

out of. of all of this. I got remarried. My wife

and I have been married for 41 years. We have

three beautiful daughters and a great life. And

after the stroke, I slept eight to nine hours

a day and have continued that. I haven't let

business get in the way of taking care of myself.

I hope that's an interesting story to you. Yes,

very, very good. Thank you. I really appreciate

it so far. How did you come to this knowledge

and this conclusion that you needed to change,

make all these changes? Did you have extra help?

Did you have professionals helping you? Did you

just know what to do, self -help, different things?

What was the thought process behind? What was

your process about in detail? I'm an executive

coach by trade and by training. Have been for

27 years and In that time, I've worked with a

huge number of people. And one of the things

that I have created is I've created this framework

for how do we change. And to me, leadership is

not how you lead others. Leadership is how you

lead yourself. So this framework is a way of

leading yourself. And it's context, which is

what's happening with you. What is your life

like? What does it look like right now? Clarity,

which is understanding in no uncertain terms

what you want. Conditioning, which is getting

your mind right, changing your mind to do the

things you need to do. Choice, which is about

making sure that you understand the behaviors

that come out of the conditioning. And character,

which is about putting it all together, about

personal accountability, about doing the right

thing. And so I call it the five Cs. Well, I

developed that. I used it with clients. and I

never in a million years would know how important

it became to me. And that was the framework that

I used coming out of the stroke. So what's my

context? Well, I weighed a lot. My health sucked,

but I was alive and I was still able to do some

things. So that was my context. The clarity was

I wanted to be healthy. I never considered that

I wouldn't be back to health. I never considered

for a minute that I wasn't going to survive and

thrive. In fact, it was funny, I went to a doctor

about three months after the stroke and he looked

at me and he said, well, he said, you've got

just about what you get. And secretly I said,

screw yourself. I didn't believe him. I didn't

like that. And it's funny, I kept him as a doctor

for about 10 years and that just stuck in my

craw the whole time I was with him. I recovered

and I used that framework, the clarity, the conditioning,

which is how do I change my mind? One of the

things that happens when you lose a lot of weight

is all of a sudden you have to go from thinking

like a heavy person to thinking like a thin person.

And that's a bit of a difference about the way

you eat, about the way that you exercise and

do the things you knew. Choice was was planning

things out. I have this thing called a waypoint

document that helps people plan the actions out.

And then it's about living it. It's about being

true to yourself and living it. The other thing

is about a year after I had the stroke, my wife

bought me a lathe, wood lathe, and I just took

to it. And there was something about the lathe

and with a 30 pound spinning piece. In fact,

most of this up behind me is things that I've

made. But there's something about that piece

of wood that wants to take your head off that

you have to pay attention and the body movements

and the way you move your hands and how you deal

with cuts and all of that kind of stuff. There

was something about it that really Change something

in me now. I will talk about one other thing

They don't tell you that when you have a stroke

your your emotions get all screwed up. I mean

really badly and I had this horrible anxiety

just just gut -wrenching Twisting some anxiety

and I would just get myself twist around the

axle when somebody said something or somebody

did something or whatever and and talking about

seeing a professional, I actually saw a therapist

for a couple of years to get some strategies

to be able to handle the anxiety. Makes sense.

Thank you very much for that. I appreciate it.

So there are a few things here, all these different

things that you were describing about your life

path and how you got past it and everything.

So. I'm curious to know, well, there's a few

things. The first thing is that one thing that

I teach is that not only do I want to find, literally

find, the negative things that happen in my life,

because sometimes I sit in something and I don't

know that it's hurting me or bothering me. or

making me sad, sometimes I'm in an abusive relationship

or whatever. And these things that you're describing

to me, I'm not trying to tell your story or anything,

but to me, are not positive. And that's the reason

for this show, because we're talking about where

you were and how far you came and what was the

end result. So not only am I asking the listener

to be able to relate to that, if possible, But

what can we get out of this story out of any

point in this story? If the listener doesn't

have anxiety or the listener doesn't have something,

what the thing is, there is something in this

point, any time in this story that somebody can

relate to. And why is that? Because we repeat

a lot of. different points and experiences in

our lives. Now, one of the reasons why we do

that is I believe because that if somebody goes

through something, let's just use me for an example.

If I go through something and I don't learn the

lesson, let's say I get into a car accident and

I know that I have to quit my job and I knew

10 years before. I got into the car accident.

I had to quit my job, but I didn't want to. Well,

the car accident now forced me to quit my job

because I can't work at the job anymore because

I'm physically not capable. So there's always

and you explain this, I think. So there's a lot

of times is something that forces me to change.

But the question is for me, am I able to see

that? And am I going to go back into the situation

again? And that's where I'm saying just little

signs here and there. Am I able to learn the

lesson from when that lesson presents itself

rather than me saying, oh, it's not a big deal.

It's never going to happen again or whatever

denial or excuse that I want to make. because

then what's gonna happen again is that the lesson

is gonna repeat. And this is not a theory. You

can look it up. This will keep repeating until

I learn the lesson and it will stop. This is

a fact. This is scientifically proven. You could

look it up anywhere. This is not something I'm

making up. But these are some of the things I

teach. And like I said, you have your own...

way that you went through things and you're explaining

about the help you got. Right. And that you just

knew to do these things, which is a lot of guests

that I have. This was what it was. This they

just knew to do it. So this is my question. Am

I or the listener or you can answer? It doesn't

matter. Am I in tune with myself to know that

something presents itself, which nine times out

of 10, it's negative. because we're talking about

learning a lesson or something. I'm just giving

one example. There's tons of examples of this,

okay? Just giving one idea, one thing. Am I in

tune with myself to know that if something presents

itself to me, just so I could learn a lesson,

and am I going to accept that? Am I willing?

Am I able to create the willingness to accept

that fact that I need to learn that lesson and

move on, and that's how I'm gonna move forward?

Because if I... don't, I'm going to get stuck

and nobody stands still. And then I'm going to

wind up going backwards in my life. And what's

going to happen then? I'm going to sit in negativity,

in depression, exactly what you said about your

story. And that's why I have all of this show

and all these guests on the show with different

stories and different things that happened to

them. Because this, to me, was kind of what you

said in a way. It was similar to what you said.

because, I'm just gonna use me as an example,

I wanna know even if I don't know or I don't

wanna change, let's say I don't want to, let's

say I don't just make an excuse or whatever,

then am I even willing, just a little bit, a

teeny bit willing, just to say, let me see what

this is about, something happened in my life,

let me see what this means, what is this telling

me? Let me ask somebody. Let me ask a friend.

Let me ask somebody. Listen to my voice or whatever.

I don't want to, wouldn't say that, but because

they're negative. So listen to somebody or get

help and let me sit there and I'll evaluate that.

And then I'll say, okay, this person said this

or I'm thinking about this and I thought about

it and I don't know. Maybe I want to do this

with this person suggests that maybe I don't.

and now making the decision. And when I make

that decision, now I go on a different path.

So there's a path if I make a decision to change,

and there's a path if I don't make a decision

to change. And guess what? You just told that

in your story. That exact thing. Exactly, exactly,

exactly. You just told that in your story. Have

you ever heard of an author called Poe Bronson?

No. Poe Bronson wrote a book several years ago.

What should I do with my life? And then he wrote

a companion piece a few years later, it was in

Fast Company, and he had a number of points he

made. But the one thing that rings really true

to me is he said, we are... rarely the author

of our own change. Isn't that interesting? We

are rarely the author of our own change. Yeah,

because we don't know what's going to happen.

Well, see, and so I look back and when I got

laid off in 98, I didn't know what was going

to happen. And I could take it positively or

I could take it negatively when I had the stroke.

I mean, it caused me to change and all that kind

of stuff. So I think that's really interesting.

The second thing is Dr. Dean Nadel, several years

ago, did a study. And he did a study of heart

patients and he found that 90 percent of heart

patients were either back on the table or dead

in three years because they didn't make any meaningful

changes in their life. Isn't that sad? That is

that is ridiculously sad. I mean, and that's

their that's their choice. That's their decision.

That's nobody else's decision, but theirs. My

thought is that people should seek professional

health, that if it's if it's somebody like you

or somebody like me, I'm your behavioral change

coach. The things we do in our profession is

we help surface things for people to do something

with. They still have to do something with it.

I mean, I don't live in anybody's skin, but they

still have to do something with it. And whether

they do something with it or don't, it's up to

them. But again, 90 % of heart patients are dead

or on the table in three years because they haven't.

They haven't stopped eating corned beef sandwiches.

And just how ridiculous is that? Yeah. I know

people that have emphysema and they smoked right

until the day they were dead. I also know people

that have emphysema and asthma that stop smoking

that learn their lesson. So this is really an

individual decision. This is an individual choice

and this is up to the person. I'm here. I'll

help anybody. I don't care who you are. Okay,

I don't care about your past. You're gonna tell

me obviously if you want to because that's gonna

help me Right coach you but I don't really it

doesn't matter to me who you are the fact is

is that you come to me willingly and you want

to change and you want to tell me this this and

this and That will help you in your future. That

will help you give you give yourself a better

life So you want a better life after you have

a heart attack? Or do you want to have the same

life and have another heart attack and then your

life will be worse? Because you're more sick

and then you don't stop and then you have another

one and then your life gets worse and worse Do

you want to sit around watching beat the clock?

That's what you're asking is if your big time

is watching sitting around and watching hollywood

square And I don't know what shows are on I don't

watch that much tv, but my mother -in -law Well,

she watched jeopardy and then she watched the

other one and she did that religiously every

night And of course she was going hard of hearing

so she had it turned up as high as it can but

if i'm recovering Do I see my future as one positive

or do I see my future as a negative? I've got

a friend of mine that had a stroke and they found

him face down in a park a lot and somebody called

911 and he had some severe deficits. And I think

that's seven, eight, maybe 10 years ago, and

he's doing wonderfully now. He had that mindset

that it wasn't going to stop him. And so he rides

a recumbent bike. He splits his time between

Michigan and Arizona, but he rides a recumbent

bike. He and his wife have offloaded a lot of

responsibilities and he's doing fabulously, but

that is a choice. You can either stew in your

own juices or turn off the stove and walk away.

Yes, that was very good. Thank you. So the last

question is. How do you feel today based on everything

that we've said and the result? Obviously that

you have explained how you came out the other

side and the positive result. How do you feel

today from all of that? Well, Debbie, I feel

great. I couldn't do what I do on a daily basis

without without feeling good. I talk to people

all over the world and I've got I've got clients

and. Malaysia, clients in the Philippines, clients

all over. And I couldn't do what I do unless

I'm positive. Because listen, life throws a lot

of crap sandwiches your way. It's what do you

decide to do? You decide to eat or you decide

to wrap it up and put it in the trash. That's

basic mindset, but you can get that basic mindset.

You can grow that basic mindset. And that's the

really important part. is that look, just because

something bad happens to you, your life isn't

over. Life will go on. The one, and I know this,

but the one really amazing thing about human

beings is our ability to forget. And in fact,

with those people that have didactic memories,

they're not able to forget and their life is

kind of miserable because they're not able to

forget. But when they talk about PTSD, PTSD is

caused by the inability to forget. a traumatic

incident. But God, we forget a lot of stuff and

isn't that a blessing? There was a guy who was

one of the editors, I think he was Fast Company

or one of those, and he hung a camera around

his neck and he had a recording device and he

downloaded every picture from his past and from

everything in a file. And for two years, He recorded

everything. The one takeaway that I remember

from the article that he wrote is he said, I

wasn't able to forget anything and isn't that

a shame. You can forget. You can forget all the

bad stuff. Anyway, interesting. OK, so that was

a very good closing. So anyway, as we wrap up

this conversation, highlights how small internal

shifts can create meaningful change. If something

from today stayed with you, take a moment to

reflect on how it connects to your own directions

and decisions. This has been the internal shift

show. Thank you for listening and thank you for

being on the show. I really appreciate it. Thank

you, Debbie. I appreciate it too.