Laura Bratton: Choosing Strength Beyond Circumstances

Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

Longo, Transformational Coach. This show explores

how the way we think, decide, and respond internally

influences where we end up over time. Today's

conversation draws on real experience and expertise

to look at how small internal shifts can change

direction, momentum, and outcomes. We have a

very special guest today, Laura Bratton. Good

afternoon, Laura. Welcome to the show. Good afternoon.

Thank you for the opportunity. Good thank you

for being here so i'm gonna ask you to tell a

little bit of your story and a event that you

had in your life where you were in a negative

and then you went through a process and then

you came out on the other side the end result

should always be positive and one of the reasons

why i do this podcast is because everybody has

their own individual story. And but there's something

that people can relate to in your story somewhere.

And when they do that, if a listener is listening,

they can hear what you went through, what your

process is. And now they can say, I can get through

this. I can come out the other side. I can see

now that there's a way out. And for whatever

reason, they relate to it is going to result.

Hopefully their thinking will result in a positive

or they'll see this is the process Or maybe it's

not as bad as I thought it was because a lot

of times and people think that What they're sitting

in is good and they justify The fact that everything

is when they don't have to be that way. They

don't have to live in that space and if they

can see that the way that the process is or however

they interpret what we're doing here, what the

podcast is and what it's about and all these

different things, they can see that that's the

most important thing that I think that I could

get out of this. And now what happens is that

not only will they see there's a way out and

everything right, but now they're gonna see that

this is the way that I could potentially do it.

Now, like I said, I'm a transformational coach.

I'm not trying to sell myself. That's not what

this podcast is about. It's not promotional,

but it's just mainly for educational purposes.

So somebody could realize something. Somebody

could identify. So I'm going to ask you to do

that. Thank you. So the experience I want to

share was an absolute experience that changed

every. aspect every moment from my life from

that point forward. So it wasn't just one acute

experience that happened and oh, then back then

that happened. It was experience that literally

changed my entire life forever. So as a teenager,

I lost all of my vision. And by the time, pretty

much by the time I graduated from high school,

I did not have any usable vision. I have what

I have today, some light perception, very limited

light perception, but that's it. And going through

that experience, I can't put to words the level

of grief, the level of anxiety, the level of

depression that I went through, because yes,

I was grieving my vision loss, but I was also

grieving that normal teenage girl experience.

So I was grieving the fact that I wasn't getting

able to experience so many markers that most

teenagers are. Plus, you just have the normal

teenage hormone emotions. So you add that into

the mix. So as I went through this experience,

over the years when I lost my sight, I would

lose a lot of sight and then replato. And then

I would lose a lot of sight, and then it would

plateau. And so it was just a constant grief

process. And my first emotional experience was

denial. And then after denial, that's when the

grief and the depression started. And the reason

that I was able to move forward, the reason that

I was able to regain my confidence to work through

the grief, the anxiety, the depression, was because

of the support around me that Didn't say their

words, but modeled to me. We still believe in

you. So the people that I want to speak to today

is those people that have that life experience

where it changes the rest of your life. It changes

every moment. So there's not some perfect ending.

Ta -da! I received my vision back. There's this

great miracle and now I have 2020. So the end

of the story is not that I regained my sight.

The end of the story is that the story is ongoing

and that I've learned to create a mindset and

a perspective that helps me navigate through

life with grit and with gratitude, even as I

live life as a person without sight in the sighted

world. Very good. Thank you. I appreciate that.

When you were going through your process of losing

your sight, and realizing that it's not there

anymore. What were you feeling and what were

some of the challenges that you've had as you

were going through that process? It was the absolute

depths of grief that cannot be put into words.

It was a grief that I can't put into words because

it affected every single part of my life. So

there was nothing that wasn't affected. by my

grief, and that grief manifested in deep, deep,

deep depression, just debilitating depression

and also deep anxiety, and that manifested just

in constant panic attacks. While I was still

trying to hold that, put up that mask and pretend,

oh yeah, life is good, I'm positive, yeah, yeah,

I'm just going blind, but I'm positive, it's

all good. Still trying to pretend emotionally

I'm fine. when I absolutely was not fine. Yeah.

So you pretended that you were fine. And to me,

that's a good thing. This, you know, what you

went through, obviously is a big challenge. I

can I can't imagine, but I can think. But if

I if something happens or I'm thinking something

negative and I don't think that that thing exists,

or I tell myself it's not, or I tell myself everything

is fine, sometimes I'm able to cancel that out.

Now in your case, obviously, that's a different

scenario. It doesn't work. You could cancel out

the thought, but you can't cancel out the physical

thing that happened to you. So the point is that

either way now, this is one thing that I do when

I am getting rid of negative thoughts that that

that that's what I'm referring to here is is

just getting rid of a negative thought. Now,

sometimes that does fix a physical problem, but

that is extremely difficult to do. I've done

it before, but it's extremely difficult and it

takes a while. to really learn that. Now I'm

not saying that's your case. I am explaining

that taking a negative thought and turning it

into a positive to me is always a very good thing

and that is something that I start with when

I teach somebody or I coach somebody or even

if I'm talking to a friend or something on the

phone. And it's just a matter of taking a negative

thought. And then what do I say? Well, I say

the opposite of what that thought is. So if I

say I'm ugly, I'm pretty. All's I'm gonna do

is just say the opposite and That might make

it feel better and then if I keep doing that

I won't have that thought anymore But the idea

is you have to keep doing it over and over and

over again Now there are a lot of people that

I know that have all kinds of disabilities I

have like five people on my podcast on the previous

podcast that I've had one guy has is paralyzed

I have a lot of people on my podcast that have

all different types of disabilities and physical

things that are wrong. And they tell their story,

just like you did, of how you are now and your

process and what you went through, right, to

get to this point. But just like them and you're

a survivor. because we all went through this,

whatever it is. I went through a lot of things.

I have a lot of stories. I have a lot of examples.

But we're all survivors because we had this thing

happen and then we went through a process that

was not positive. And we were able to turn that

into even if it's a positive or not. But the

thing is, I'm living. I'm existing. I get up

every morning. I get dressed. I go out. And you

mentioned about all the symptoms that were brought

you to the depression, the anxiety. And I could

simply tell myself that I don't have these things.

Now, whether it's going to go away or not, that's

completely up to me. But. I might put myself

in a little better space than I was before I

didn't say that. Before I told myself that the

depression was OK. So when you were going through

this process, right, you explained a little bit

about the grief and stuff. How did you get through

it? Did you have any type of professional help

or did you just know that you needed to get out

of this? type of mindset or did somebody just

talk to you about it? How did that process work?

It was a combination of a lot of different resources.

And specifically what I mean by that is it was

that mind, body, spirit connection. So, yes,

I started seeing a therapist, but I also When

I focused on what I was eating, when I ate less

sugar and less processed food, my anxiety decreased.

My sleep got better. When I had more of like

an exercise routine, my sleep was better. My

mood was better. So it was a holistic approach.

And like I referred to the earlier, it was the

community around me supporting me, believing

in myself when I was in that deep anxiety, when

I was in that deep depression. And practically

what that looks like is every day in those high

school years, my parents would remind me, yes,

the future is overwhelming. Yes, the future.

We don't know. It's uncertain. What we do know

is we can focus on today. So getting up, getting

dressed, getting to school on time this morning,

that's a win for the day. That's an accomplishment.

So they instilled in me living in the present

and the gift of being in the present. Speaking

of being in the present, mindfulness really,

really helps me every single day with my perspective.

It helps me with my thoughts. It helps with my

breathing. It helps me to be aware of where I'm

holding tension in my body. So it really is that

holistic approach. And it's also just those times

just of normalcy. I have one older brother and

just in this high school, those worst of days,

He just kept treating me like that little baby

sister. He just was like, are you serious? You're

annoying me again today. He didn't change his

behavior toward me. He didn't start babying me

or calling me or feeling sorry for me. Obviously,

he made accommodations where I needed it, but

he still kept treating me like that annoying

little baby sister. And that was a source of

healing for me. That was a source of saying to

me, you are still you. Yes, you're losing your

sight. Yes. You have to change your whole life,

your whole world, and you're still you. And it

was also conversations with a mentor. Well, it

was lots of conversations with a mentor, but

one particular conversation that I want to share

was she invited me to start living with a mindset

of gratitude. And being from the South and being

a teenager, of course, I smiled and looked at

her and nodded and said, thank you. But I thought,

have you lost your mind? Like, I'm going blind.

I'm anxious. I'm depressed. I had nothing to

be grateful for. And so out of my teenage stubbornness,

I started to focus on what do I have to be grateful

for? To preach her. I was going to hand her back

a sheet of papers. It was blank. I had nothing

to be grateful for. And the one day became three

days. The three days became a week. A week became

a month. And what I realized is she was not saying

be grateful for the blindness. She was teaching

me rather to be grateful for what helps me navigate

through the blindness. So that can be translated

to what helps us navigate through all of life,

through the good, through the bad, through the

mundane. What are we grateful for for each day?

So a practical example, she wasn't saying, but

then today I say, gosh, I'm so thankful for this

blindness. She was saying, I'm thankful that

I have a guide dog that helps me navigate the

world. So again, gratitude is not being happy,

positive, cheerful, joy, smiley, smiley. Gratitude

is not a way to cover up our pain and not validate

our pain and skip over our pain. Gratitude is

a way to acknowledge what we do have and what

we are grateful for in the midst of all of life.

And that mindset, combined with just the mindfulness,

living day by day, focused on each day, that's

what empowered me to move through the grief,

through the anxiety. And I want to make it very

clear, it wasn't one big magical moment. It was

a process where I would have three panic attacks

a day, and then two panic attacks a day, and

then one panic attack a day, and then every other

day. It's a very slow process, step by step.

So I just want to encourage anyone experiencing

a major change in their life. For me, it was

not one magical moment where my mindset changed.

It was small series of events of countless interactions

with people I love, complete strangers, that

helped me get to that point of living every day

as a person without sight in a sighted world.

Yeah, that was very good. Thank you. So these

are all examples of how I have a negative mindset

and I turn it in to a positive mindset. All these

things that you're explaining, the alternative

things that you've done, all these different

things you're explaining and these things, whether

they're gratitude, whether it's physical, mental,

it doesn't matter. There's 100 different ways

to get through whatever you are getting through,

whether it's my guest or a listener. I don't

have to sit in that negativity. But here's the

thing. What the solution is and how the person

goes through their process is an individual thing.

So everybody might, people might say, I have

gratitude, but they're gonna interpret that in

their own way. And they're gonna use that word,

or they're gonna use that process in their own,

how they can, how they see it. When I do that,

I'm turning it into my personal, individual journey.

And when that happens, then I could really see

that I'm gonna come out the other side. So we're

doing this just so somebody can see I have this

and now this person did this. Maybe I could try

that. And then it snowballs into their own thing.

Now I have different definitions, right, of what

gratitude is than what you said. And only because

I have, I practice gratitude also. But my process,

the way that I see gratitude and the way that

I interpret it every day is a little bit different

than yours. It's similar, but it's not exactly

the same. And that's what I'm trying to explain

because either way the end result is it's going

to either work or not. I'm going to sit in the

negative. And if if nothing is going to turn

that into a positive, then what I'm doing is

not working because I'm still sitting in the

negative. And if I go into a depression or if

I have physical problems where I can't move,

I can't get out of bed because there are a lot

of people. Tons of people who are handicapped

in all different ways and they have no problems

with life. They get out of bed. They get dressed.

I know a man who is a paraplegic and he's a teacher.

He teaches at a university and he's in a wheelchair.

He's a very, very, very smart man. Really intelligent.

Anybody can do anything. And I don't believe

that people have to stay stuck. And just because

they have a disability or a trauma. or anything

that somebody could identify as sitting in the

negative in any way, shape or form. I do not

believe that that has to control their life and

they have to sit in that right forever or even

for today or for the next 10 minutes. And this

is the whole thing. This is what we're trying

to show here. So this is very, very good. So

how do you feel today? How do you feel right

now as a result of everything we just spoke about

this whole podcast. So today, living in that

mindset of the mindfulness and having that grit

of acknowledging the difficult, the painful reality

that is really, really difficult. And I have

a choice every day. I have the choice. What am

I going to do with this reality to the mindset

where I am? As you asked, how am I today? I have

that sense of self -love, that sense of self

-compassion, that renewed confidence that I'm

me, I'm comfortable with my own skin, I am who

I am, and that's a daily choice. So it's not

a one -time decision of, I made that eight years

ago on June 2nd, blah -blah time, blah -blah

place. But for me, it's that daily choice I choose

every single day to have this mindset, to have

this perspective, even. in my situation. Yes,

and that's very good. That was a very good way

to close. Thank you very much. So as we close,

this conversation is a reminder that progress

really comes from one big decision, but from

the internal choices we repeat. If something

from today's discussion connected with you, take

a moment to notice how those internal choices

showed up in your own life. This has been the

internal shift show. Thank you for listening

and thank you, Laura, for being on the show.

I appreciate it.